Shit You Should Know

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Boys, Apparently, Are Easier

To some of you it may seem that often my son is the punch line for all the funnies in my blogs. Have no fear my faithful minions, my daughter is full of entertainment too.

The truth is family is just plain humorous from grandparents to new babies. People in general do stupid freaking things! Yes, strangers (on a bus #1 and on bus #2) are fun to laugh at but when it comes to family you get the pleasure of reminiscing over turkey and stuffing about all the ridiculous and foolish things they’ve done. Inside jokes are great. If you are in my family, FORGET ABOUT IT! You’ve got to be able to laugh at yourself.
So my daughter and I take a trip to Wal-Mart (aka the antichrist). On the way there she says, “Maaa-om?” in that drawn out whiney way she so loves. “Is it true that when boys are mean to you it’s because they like you?”

Without any hesitation I say, “Yes. That’s usually how little boys show their interest in you.”

She thinks about it for a few moments while staring out of the window and says, “The boys in my class all pick on me.”

Silence for a few moments…

“Maaa-om?” she says again.


“What if girls are mean to you? Does that mean they like you?”

“Not really. It usually means they are jealous of you. Are you not nice to these girls?”

“No. They just act like butts so I stay away from them.” She said in a matter of fact tone. It made me proud that she wasn’t putting up with girls and their bitchiness. Maybe I did something right. “Mom, what do girls get jealous of anyway?”

“Well, many things. Maybe they like one of those boys that have their eye on you. Or maybe they think you are prettier than them.”

She seemed satisfied with this answer and after a short pause she says, “Yeah, well, they sure do have a lot of UGLY girls in my class.”


It’s time to study for spelling words. I tell my daughter to give me her planner so I can call out her words.

“Spell PERSON.” I say.

Her eyes glance down into her lap as she spells “P-E-R-S-O-N”.

I thought maybe her eyes were darting because she was unsure of what she was spelling. “Spell TURTLE.”

“That’s easy.” She replies. Her eyes glance again to her lap. This time I hear crinkling paper. “T-U-R”, I get up and walk towards her. She quickly crumples up a piece of paper and hands it to me. “I wasn’t cheating.” she says. After unfolding the paper, I find exactly what I had suspected, each and every spelling word written out. BUT hey! She wasn’t cheating!!

She is in her room getting dressed for school. She calls for me, “MAAAA-OM!”

I walk to her room. “What’s going on?” I was sure she was going to be tattling on her brother but no, nothing could have prepared me for the question my SEVEN year old was about to ask me.
She sighs. “Mom, when are you going to buy me a bra?” I was blindsided.

In my head a million things raced through it but the only response that would fall off my tongue was simply, “When you have boobs.” And I walked out of her room.


  1. haha, your kids are freaking adorable. I love your family's sense of humor.

    Keep it up!

  2. Great answer to the bra question!!!!!


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