Shit You Should Know

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Somebody Is About To Get Smited!

If this isn’t your first visit to my blog, you know I have no problem sharing information about myself. To be honest, I rather enjoy it. Maybe I’m a borderline narcissist or maybe I’m just true to my Leo nature. Either way this post is brought to you today because someone out there wants to feed my ego.
Thanks to Debbie at No Filter Mom for giving me another opportunity to gloat endlessly about how awesome I am be honored with the Versatile Blogger Award.

Now like most awards, this one comes with a set of rules that I am required by law to follow or else the blog gods will smite me. I’ve never been smited but it doesn’t sound pleasant. I imagine the blog gods to sit in front of a computer screen similar to Dr. Claw, the bad guy from the old Inspector Gadget cartoons.
Piss them off and they press their big red “smite” buttons like this one.
Here are the blog commandments of the Versatile Blogger award.

1.) Thank the person who gave you the award. (Done! See above.)

2.) Share 7 things about yourself. (Three cheers for narcissism!)

3.) Pass the award on to 10 unsuspecting victims other versatile bloggers and mock them let them know you did.

Here's some stuff about me.  I know you can't wait.  That's why you are here.
1.) My most favorite soda is Diet Dr. Pepper. It is by far the best tasting diet soda there is on the market in my opinion and my opinion is all that matters (to me anyway).

2.) I like the Counting Crows very much. I have all of their albums. Adam Duritz is an amazing poet.
Goofy looking? Yes but extremely talented. I have a thing for poetry. Just ask my husband. He got me hook, line, and sinker!

3.) I love that my children are in scouting. I had some of my best childhood memories while in girl Scouts and I enjoy sharing my stories with my kids.

little ol' to love that sofa behind me
I hope that they will have fond memories as well. By the way, the official cookie count as of today is 459. She’s almost to her goal of 600 boxes. (Technically, this one is only sort of about me.)

4.) I have zero talent (or patience) when it comes to making things. I’m so envious of people who can do things like make jewelry or scrapbook or draw. My “creations” look like a kindergartener made it. Besides, people don’t appreciate painted noodles glued to paper like they used to. Martha Stewart I am not.

5.) My boy child is a lot like me. He’s creative, silly and sometimes caring to a fault. He likes to read and when he talks about something that excites him his eyes light up. He has so much enthusiasm you can’t help but get sucked into his story. (I guess this one is isn’t really about me either. But, you will take what I give you and you will like it!)

6.) I still play the Sims from time to time. How old am I??? I enjoy watching my husband play games like Elder Scrolls on the Xbox but I lack the hand coordination to operate the controller. The Wii is more my speed and even that is pushing it.

7.) I don’t like making lists that end in an odd number. It bugs me.

Finally, I am supposed to pass this along to 10 more people. Well, that’s not going to happen. I know…smite me, oh mighty smiter!
There have been many awards going around lately and I know many of the people I follow have already received this award. So for the sake of not duplicating, I will give it to 2 bloggers and I have decided to pull a Doug and get cheesy with it. So here is the award I’ll be giving out.
It’s the Quintessential Versatile Blogger Award. I would like to give this award to Alysha at Supermom and Rancher Mom at The Taylor Family Ranch. Enjoy, ladies.

On a closing note, the time for my husband’s leave is coming up fast. So if you don’t hear from me in a few weeks, I’ve haven’t really been smited. I’m probably just busy doing…things…yes, that's it…things.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #5

TGIF!! I didn’t think I’d make it. Wednesday at bedtime I told my son not to worry because tomorrow was Friday. He asked if I was drunk. Then he told me that the following day was in fact Thursday just like every other week for as long as he can remember.

Ah, sarcasm! I was tempted to make up an elaborate story about how “back when I was a kid” there were no Thursdays and Fridays always followed Wednesdays. I suppose I could have come up with something blaming the evil Thursday on the communists or religious fanatics or even super liberals for that matter. I guess I could have just blamed science. I mean after all if they can just come to the conclusion that Pluto is no longer a planet, I’m sure they can also come up with a reason to add another day to the week, right?

Anyway…drum roll, please.

FANTASTIC! FRIDAY! FIVE! live from my house straight to your computer screen for your reading/viewing pleasure. I do it because I care….I care a lot…like a care bear only not as fuzzy because I recently shaved. I suppose my official care bear name would be something like Sleep Deprived Bear or Sips A Lot Bear or maybe even Still In Pajamas Bear. Any of those would work.

Now for this week’s list:

1.) I am another week closer to seeing my husband and there is a song stuck on me head. I’m not sure what the name of it us but is goes something like “bow chicka wawa”.
2.) I went to a meeting yesterday at the kids’ school about my son. Hopefully, this will be the last. The results of all the tests they have been doing came out. The boy is NOT ADD or ADHD. So now they can shut their faces and realize he is just your typical bored 10 year old boy. They need to stop trying to turn our kids into robotic zombies and embrace their creativity and imagination. Also, he scored average in basically everything except Reading and Language. According to the tests, he is reading on an eighth grade level and has a seventh graders vocabulary. That is he knows how to read and use in a sentence all of the known curse words. Mama is proud.

3.) So much for the nice spring-like weather. It’s back in the thirties. I told you guys before we needed to get a handle on Al Gore and all his global warming voodoo. Ok. Who’s sneaking food down to the basement? Confess!
4.) My little girl scout has sold 250 boxes so far. If the government relied on the girl scouts to save the economy, we’d be in much better hands.
5.) Good news! I made a shiny new friend this past week that has yet to ask me what church I go to and if I’d like to go to her church. Here on the Bible Belt that is a BIG DEAL. Insert spastic white girl dancing here.

Before I forget, I want to thank Debbie at No Filter Mom for giving me the Versatile Blogger award. With that being said, you guys can all be prepared for yet another narcissistic post about yours truly and you can brace yourselves for me passing along the blog world’s version of a STD. You’re welcome.

Anxiety Is In Full Swing or Excuse My Rambling But That's How I Roll

Lately, I’ve been a busy little bee. I’m trying to make everything around me perfect for the homecoming happening very soon. So many things are going on that lazy, procrastinating me feels detached from my body watching everything else transpire. I am having more trouble than normal sleeping and when I eventually do fall asleep I wake up at least three times during the night. My stomach is in knots. I am a big ball of anxiety waiting to explode!

The best part though, I’m not going to lie, is the shopping (…well besides the obvious that my husband is coming home, anyway). I rarely shop for myself so being able to pick things out and actually purchase them is a blast. I seriously bought like four pairs of shoes and loved every second of it. Yes, I bought clothes too but shoes are so much more fun. It was easy to narrow down the choices for clothes. It was an ordeal to shrink the shoe order. The good news (for the checkbook anyway) is that I went from hearting twenty pairs of shoes down to four…just four.
I had to talk myself out of the “Pretty Woman” thigh high pleather boots. It was hard but I will survive.

I was surprised at some of the footwear I saw. Some websites actually have an entire section on “fetish” footwear. I HAD to see what that was about. I just had too! Some of it was hot…some of it was, well, just plain disturbing. Like these…
They look like my version of high heels I used to draw when I was in elementary school. On a serious note unless you were into ballet how in the hell would you not break your ankle in those?? I thought I was a bad ass because I was shopping for 4 and 5 inch heels.
Another plus to homecoming is getting the house into tip top shape. I have hired Molly Maids to come out and dust my house. I hate to dust. HATE IT…want to stab it! They are also going to clean my windows inside and out. Yay!
I’ve made a few purchases to help the kids organize their rooms better and have even promised them a bonus allowance if they keep their rooms cleaned for the next two weeks. I need to do whatever I can to keep them occupied. I’ve made plans for them to participate in scouting events this weekend and next. I figure it will make the time go by quicker for us all.

By the way, my kids still have no clue that Dad is coming home. I am trying my damnedest to keep this a secret from them. I want them to be surprised. I have even mapped out a treasure hunt for them. The plan is to bring the kids to a friend of my son’s house who lives a few blocks away. I have already worked this out with the kid’s mom. Next, I’ll swing back to the house and hide the clues in their appropriate places. Then I’m off to the airport to pick up my husband. Afterwards, I’ll bring him back to the house where I’m sure I will give in to his sexual advances because, hey, it’s been since October and this is much better than the battery operated stuff I’ve been using. Next, I will put my clothes back on. What? I can’t pick up the kids naked, pervert! Then I will help my husband into the hammock, hand him a beer, and I’m off to scoop up the children.
Upon our return, I will hand the children an envelope with their first clue in it. That clue will lead them on an adventure around the house looking for the coveted surprise at the end. I really hope all of this stays a surprise. I think my kids will enjoy the hunt for treasure. Suggestions would be appreciated.

As for plans while my husband is here, we really haven’t made any. Nothing even goes as planned it seems. So, we are just going to do whatever we feel like from day to day. It has conveniently worked out that the second week he is here will be Spring Break for the kids so should we decide a road trip in order it is on like Donkey Kong.

Did I mention I am super excited????????  It's definetey time for him to come home when I've thought about opening this box...

Thursday, February 24, 2011

This Is Heavy, Doc!

Lately I suppose with all this talk of Time Travel Month over at Nuclear Headache (not to be confused with the cheesier version) so fresh in my brain, I’ve been thinking about all the things I would say to the teenage version of myself. Of course, all this weighing on it not causing the universe to implode or me disappearing from photographs a la Marty McFly style.

First and foremost, I would tell my past self that the one guy I decided to lose my virginity to was (and will always be) a complete tool and waste of oxygen. AVOID by all means! I’m sure many of you wish you hadn’t wasted your first time on such an ass. I’m not saying I should have waited until marriage necessarily (please don’t tell my future teenage daughter) but I definitely would have skipped over his dumb ass. As a rule of thumb, if his name forms an alliteration it’s probably because his mommy knew he was a joke even from the womb.
Another tidbit of information I would share with myself is that even though your family is obviously a bag of mixed nuts, things won’t always be so difficult and confusing. Mostly mom won’t always seem so psychotic. She just has no clue what she’s doing and she’s learning day by day. It’s a bitch (especially when you are the oldest) but it paves the way for her to learn from her mistakes. Whether she admits it to you or not, she doesn’t mean half the shit that comes out of her mouth. Try not to take her need to control everything at whatever cost personally. It will only cost you years of therapy…time you could be spending doing things you actually enjoy.

Also, your mom is going to tell you that those girls that were mean to you were just jealous of you. Oh my god! They SO were. Your C-cup (ok, and the fact that you were so much cooler than they were) made you comparable to the hooker in the movie “Love Potion #9” after she drank the concentrated potion. This is what I mean…

So don’t be sad. Just poke your chest out a little further and apologize to them for not being flat chested like them…as you steal their boyfriends. Just kidding….or am I?
After you get married, there will be this Puerto Rican woman that lives near you. She is going to tell you she is a witch and she knows you and your husband are having issues mostly because he is still extremely immature. She’s going to tell you to never give up on him even when things get really dark. You are going to think she is crazy (and you may be a little right) but being a little eccentric is what makes her so clairvoyant. She is also going to tell you there will be times you will have to be a bystander and not get involved in his growing up process to protect your soul and that of your child (who by the way you weren't even pregnant with just yet). Her words will always stay with you and the future you (aka me) is glad she didn’t throw the towel in as soon as things got messy.

Somewhat on the same topic, I would remind myself that other people’s setbacks do not mold you unless you let them. When you go through those dark times, keep your head up and push forward. No one is going to drag you out the hole where you risk ending up. Only you can prevent forest fires. No, wait. What I mean is, only your own strength can prevent depression and it IS inside of you even when you feel weak.
Another thing on a smaller note I would share is that when my family is evacuating from Hurricane Katrina (which by the way IS the infamous Big One the city of New Orleans has been fearing and the media has been wringing their hands impatiently waiting for), remind Mom to bring the photo albums and family videos or at the very least put them up high in a closet. So many memories will be lost if she doesn’t. Also, tell her to knock down the wall between the dining room and the living room just because it will save us all the headache of having to hear about it years later that she should have did it when they were remodeling after the storm.

One of the last things I would tell myself is simply; don’t forget how to be a kid. Your children will thank you for it.

Again, these things are all quips of knowledge I’d share with myself if there wasn’t a chance of causing horrible repercussions. I’m sure in the event that time travel is made available to the likes of everyday folks such as me; we can only hope scientists will know for sure the do’s and don’ts of traveling through time.

If travel was limited to observation, I would skip my past and observe more important times in history not involving myself like the building of the pyramids. I’d much prefer for the sake of observation, I could also remain unseen a la Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Then, I would DEFEINTELY go observe me some dinosaurs. I would also like to observe all of the questionable “god” appearances that different religions stake their claim to faith on.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #4

It’s Friday! Pour yourself a grown-up drink and proceed with the happy dances. Also, sit back, relax, and join me for this week’s Fantastic Friday Five.
1.) In this day and age, I’m not what anyone would consider a “techy”. Normally, my cell phone is the freebie that you get each time you upgrade and nothing more. BUT…this time I decided to join the rest of the world and find out what the hell is so fabulous about having all that crap on your phone. Last night, I got an Evo Shift and I have no freaking clue what the hell I am doing. There are apps for everything. Need to know how to wipe your ass? There’s an app for that. Need to break up with your boyfriend? There’s an app for that. Need a hit man? Apparently, there is an app for that too. Is there an app that teaches me how to use these apps? Just wondering…
2.) My daughter has been busting her tail selling Girl Scout cookies. She has sold nearly 200 boxes. Her goal this year is 600. The first day I took her out her hair was in pigtails. Now she is convinced that the pigtails are what is selling her cookies. So she asks for me to put her hair up each time I take her out to sell. She went to one house and she asked the man that answered the door if he wanted to buy cookies and he declined. She turned to me and said, “I KNEW he was going to tell me ‘NO’.” The guy ended up buying 8 boxes. Part of me wanted to give her a fist bump but I didn’t want her to think guilt was the appropriate way to reach her goal although it was obviously effective.
3.) My husband made a HUGE mistake. Never, EVER, tell a woman to purchase clothes and shoes for herself and add “I don’t care what it costs.” I don’t feel bad, though. I rarely shop for myself so this was quite a treat and since he is coming home in a couple of weeks it will be a nice treat for him as well. See? I’m not selfish. This benefits both of us since it stands to reason that the happier I am the happier I’ll be able to make him. Logic…plain and simple.
4.) Gas is effing expensive! I know I don’t need to say it but it’s true. I put $25.00 bucks in my truck the other day and I didn’t even get a half of tank. Today, I noticed regular unleaded was $3.08. This is not a good sign for summer.

5.) Lastly, I’ve been wondering…where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? She owes me money.

Well, another week down and another week closer to seeing my husband. Yay! More to come soon…

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Got A Golden Ticket!

I got a golden ticket. Well, it’s actually more silvery but it’s metallic and sparkly all the same. Bryan over at Nuclear Headache has deemed me worthy of head trauma this award. Thanks, Mr. White. I hope I make you proud.

Now for the rules…I hate rules.

1. Link back to the jerk that gave you the award. (Karma is a bitch, Bryan. I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little blog too. Wow!  I'm corny.)

2. Share eight things about myself. (There were seven but odd numbers make me uncomfortable. I guess I’m a snob like that...or a nut.  You make the choice.  Oh, well. Either way...BONUS!)

3. Punish ten other bloggers I'm currently following. (I’m bringing you all down with me!)

4. Let them know that you have passed this curse on to them. (And don’t pretend that I haven’t just left you a comment on your blog telling you, bitches!)

Ok. On with the show…

1.) I have been married almost 12 years (end of May). Yes, that’s right. There is a man out there that can put up with my unique form of craziness…deploying to the Middle East every so often also helps.

2.) Although I am generally anti-religion, I have read the Bible from cover to cover about 3 times in my life by my own choosing. As an old piece of literature, I find it interesting. I have read the New International Version (NIV), the King James Version, and the American Standard Version. I wish I knew Hebrew and Aramaic so I could read non-translated versions. I own many books on world religions and I am very interested in reading more. Humanity's need for faith is what intrigues me.

3.) When I go to sleep at night the bedroom, the bathroom, and closet doors all must be closed or I can’t fall asleep. I think it is a childhood habit I’ve never been able to shake.  Maybe there are owls in there.

4.) When I was in high school, I was president of the drama club and I played Alice in Alice in Wonderland.
5.) I have never been outside of the United States. It is a sad, sad life that I lead. However, before I see other countries I want to see more of my own country.

6.) I love camping and I wish I could do it more.

7.) I was Girl Scout for six years as a child and I am tickled that my daughter has continued the tradition.
8.) I read A LOT of zombie books and I watch A LOT of zombie movies. I am not ashamed!

Now I’m supposed to pass this on to 10 other bloggers that I keep up with. HA, HA! Suckers!

Debbie @ No Filter Mom
She’s a trip and she likes lists so this is right up her non-filtered alley.

Tiffany @ Shhhh! Just Between U & Me
This will be a fun welcome back award for when she gets back on the blogging boat.

Mother Theresa @ The Rain in Spain...
My only rule is she can’t give it to Erik…because Erik gets everything! (Just kidding, MT!)

Smart Ass Sara @ Welcome to Sara's Organized Chaos
She always comes up the craziest shit. I look forward to reading her list.

Jewell @ Really?! Wait! What?
She’s my shiny new friend and that makes her eligible for a kick ass award from me.

Kamilla @ Basket of Dreams
She’s silly and I enjoy following her American adventures. I wish I knew Tagalog so I could read her Philippine blog.

Tanya @ A Taste of T
Thought Bubble Thursdays are enough to earn her this shiny award.

Jacky @ Life And My Craft
This girl has got skills with that camera. I enjoy looking at all her shots.

Doris @ Sprinkles of My Life
She was always fun, going way back. I enjoy keeping up with her “sprinkles” in Italy.

Cat @ Zipbag of Bones
She’s hysterical and I don’t remember where the hell I found her but I’m glad I did.

Now apparently, I must be a closet feminist considering I just dished this bad boy out to 10 women. Oh well. I look forward to reading all of your blogs when you guys finally brag post about your super spectacular award.

Oh and by the way…happy freaking Valentine’s Day. If you are getting laid tonight, I fucking hate you. That is all.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Socially Awkward or Just Antisocial?

Most of my life has been spent feeling like some sort of outcast. Being an adult, not much has changed. I'd like to say I don’t care as much anymore but moving away from family and friends in New Orleans is starting to take its toll on me especially since the husband is away.

I have ZERO friends here. It’s my own fault since I automatically assume people will not like me once they get to know me. Let’s face it I’m a weirdo and even though I embrace it most other people do not. However, I wonder at times if I’m just an asshole. On top of making the assumption that most people will not accept me, I also tend to avoid the people who seem accepting of me because I conclude they are just bat shit crazy.
My best friend can’t understand how I can go so long cutting myself off from the world. She says I’m doing an injustice to the potential friends around me by not letting anyone in. The truth is I’m lazy. Making new friends is time consuming and has left me disappointed so many times that I don’t even want to try anymore.

Today I took my daughter to a friend from school’s birthday party. I met a few other parents who were nice but… (You knew there would be a “but” right?)  I don’t want to say they were Stepford but I got the whole sorority sister vibe from them which automatically made me feel like everything that came out of my mouth was being judged. What’s sad is I KNOW it is all in my head and I KNOW I miss out on making friends this way.  Also, when I think about it, it sort of makes me come off as thinking everything is about me.  (It is, right?)  There's my Leo showing.

Mother fucker! I swear I must need therapy.

I find myself thinking of that Adam Sandler bit..."Oh, Mom!"

Also, this...

What makes things worse is since I’m a parent; I’m always worried that my own social awkwardness is going to affect my children in some way or another. I’m the mom that cusses like a sailor. I’m the mom that not only doesn’t go to church but is agnostic (but may as well be atheist…oooo, PROJECT). I’m the mom that isn’t skinny and doesn’t wear make-up every day. I’m the mom that is inappropriate and is constantly cracking jokes. I’m the mom with the pierced tongue. And these things, my internet buddies, are the things that I allow them to see.
What would they say if they knew I go through at least a fifth of Bacardi almost every weekend by myself? How about if they knew I LOVE to play Rockband and even more so when I’m drunk? What if they knew that Rockband usually leads to drunken karaoke in the garage while smoking Black & Milds?

I’ll admit. I’m envious of the people that seem to make friends easily. I feel I am incapable of juggling many friends. I’m not looking to fill an address book with acquaintances. I would just like to make one or two friends around here I can let loose with from time to time. I’m smart enough to know I am my own worst enemy here.
::shake my head:: I am a sad, sad spectacle sometimes but I’m always prepared to laugh at my own faults.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #3

Happy freaking Friday, everyone!  It's time for another Fantastic Friday Five where I post five thing that I don't feel weigh enough substance to create an entire post on their own.  Basically, it's whatever I feel like...gosh!

1.)  I recently found out that my husband will be getting leave in March!  So the first two weeks of March, he will be here for all the sexual healing I've been needing since...October.  I know!  Right?  When I was younger I thought for sure once I was married there would NEVER be a lull in getting it on.  ::rolls eyes::  I was an idiot.

2.)  The kids actually went to school today!!!  I felt like the kid from Home Alone again...and I considered getting my Risky Business dance on.

3.)  Six pounds have been shed from somewhere on my body.  I have no freaking clue where.  I still feel like fatty fat fat but the scale says there is progress.  Maybe I broke it...

4.)  The forecast is showing signs of spring.  It's about damn time!  This week coming looks like I may get to enjoy some weather in the lower 70s.  I may take the kids to the mountains for a picnic and some hiking.
5.)  It's Girl Scout cookie time!!  Guess those 6 lbs. will be making an appearance again.  My daughter wants to sell 600 boxes. I don't think she really understands exactly how many that is.  I told her she better be ready to hussle!

Okay.  There you have wasted post for the week. 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

And The Award Goes To...

Now is the time for more awards. I have a few to dish out today. I know you guys look forward to this. The first award is the Life is Good award that Kamilla over at Basket of Dreams has given me to me. Of course, I have to share it with some other folks but that’s ok. I’m not selfish.

In receiving this award I have to:

1.) Thank and put a link back to the person who so kindly gave this award.
2.) Share a few things about yourself.
3.) Pass the award onto some other bloggers you deem deserving.
4.) Inform these said bloggers that they have received the award.

I hate rules and out of respect for Kamilla I will follow them but to the recipients of this award I relinquish you from all of the above rules. If you want to pass it on, great! If you want to forget I ever gave it to you, that is fine too. Well, let’s get to it. Shall we?

1.) I love to throw maraschino cherries into my mixed drinks so that when I’ve had enough to drink I can munch liquor soaked cherries.

2.) I loathe laundry and it seems like a never ending process.

3.) I am very close to paying the truck off so suck it, Chrysler Financial!

4.) My favorite thing to do is read.

5.) Floral scented candles and lotions make my nose itch something fierce.

6.) I’m a total pussy at the dentist. I still require nitrous to keep myself from having a panic attack as sharp objects come towards my face.

7.) I love cheesy zombie movies…the cheesier the better.

8.) I am so over all this snow.

9.) I’ve been a nail biter for as long as I can remember.

10.) I enjoy cooking very much and I’m usually good at it except when almond milk is involved.

Now I bestow the Life is Good award on the following four people…

Tanya at A Taste of T

She's rocking her baby belly and is extremely clever. I think I’ll keep reading.
Canela at From My Home And Heart

I’ve known her since high school and she’s always been quick witted and fun to be around.

Debbie at No Filter Mom

She’s proof that 40 is the new 30 and she’s really good about keeping me up to date on various blog hops.
Nic at Life Reassembled

She’s coming down with the flu and could use some cheering up (and Nyquil).
 Now on to the awards I know you knuckleheads have been looking forward to all week. I’ve got three this time.

The first one goes to Mother Teresa (or MT as I tend to refer to her) at The Rain In Spain... Each Friday she photographs something in her home EXTREMELY close up and asks her readers to guess what it is. Each week I rack my brain to try to figure out what the hell it is. So to MT, I’d like to give the Photo Capture Award.

Next, I’d like to give an award to the one and only Atypical Scott at Atypical Read (not to be confused with Bryan because that would be silly). He keeps me thinking and has a tendency to make me feel slightly stupid. So let me put on my dunce cap so I can give Scotty boy his award.

Last but certainly not least is my new buddy, Jewell at Really?! Wait! What? She’s a fun one and finds some of the craziest headlines.

So there you have it, this week’s awards. Be sure to check out these folks because I like them and you may as well. Stayed tuned tomorrow for another Fantastic Friday Five.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Hasta La Vista, Buddy!

Are we all comfortable now? Good!

Lately, I’ve been holding my breath because someone important to me has been feeling less than comfortable. I’ve mentioned before that I am separated from the one I love and also that Buddy has been living with us. It was an arrangement my husband and I made with him prior to Husband’s trek across the planet.

My husband has made it clear that he is no longer comfortable with Buddy’s presence. What took him this long, I’m not sure. Husband also brought to my attention that the thought of me drinking with Buddy wasn’t something he felt keen about either. So, I haven’t had a drink in over a month.
Back story…

My husband got Buddy a job working for his company and offered for him to rent our front room. Shortly after, my husband got a better contract working out of Afghanistan leaving Buddy in the company of the kids and myself. Understand, coming from an uber jealous person, I would have NEVER allowed this to happen…EVER! My husband on the other hand has never had the need to be jealous. Lucky him, right?

I informed my dear that never again will I agree to allow anyone to move in with us. He feels that Buddy has outstayed his welcome. I reminded him of the original agreement…it would take roughly 6 to 7 months for Buddy to get his shit together. Later, he told Buddy he had until the end of January to move out. When Buddy asked me to ask Husband about storing his bike in our garage, I did and Husband lost his mind.
Thankfully, Buddy is officially moved out and my conversations with the husband no longer need to consist of me playing the mediator of this craziness. Oh, happy day! I’m getting sippy tonight and I probably should have written this before I started downing the Bacardi.