Shit You Should Know

Friday, March 25, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #7

After a short hiatus, I bring to you another Fantastic Friday Five. A post where I share a few topics that really don’t fit anywhere else and/or I just feel like getting out into the blogosphere. Enjoy!

1.) I’m having trouble sleeping. This is common after my husband leaves. During other deployments, I went through this same circumstance. The first night after he left this time, I actually slept on the sofa because lying in the bed made me cry. I’m normally not the emotional type but every so often I get bit by the crybaby bug. Jeez, I hope I’m not pregnant. I just want to sleep again.

2.) During my husband’s visit, my super smart son decided to see what would happen if he held a Kleenex over a lit candle…in my living room. I was laying on the sofa “burrito-ed” up in a fuzzy blanket on the loveseat, in the fetal position, burning up with fever. I deliriously fell off the sofa trying get to the burning tissue ON MY CARPET, which I JUST had professionally cleaned. The blanket was full of static and I couldn’t get it off of me. Luckily, my husband was home. He stomped it out. The look of terror in my son’s eyes as he stood there frozen was enough to restrain me from killing him.
When questioned as to what the fucking fuck was he thinking, he concocted an elaborate story about how he was on the computer, NOT PAYING ATTENTION. He said he reached over to grab a tissue and he doesn’t know why it caught fire because it was nowhere near the candle. Needless to say, he had to say good-bye to the computer. Now, there is a gray spot on my carpet about the size of a stick of butter and there is also a black, burn spot the size of a dime next to it. Can anyone tell me when I can expect my boy child to develop common sense??

3.) The lawn guys cut my internet wire. Of course, AT&T originally rigged it up in way where the wire sticks out the ground and runs through my kitchen window. I pay for this?!?! The reason AT&T had to do this was because for some reason all the phone cords leading to the house were cut. Weird… The AT&T technician that installed everything said the cable companies sometimes do that if the prior occupant had phone or internet service through them. Great! Now those ugly little phone jack boxes throughout the house are truly useless.
Currently, this post is coming to you via stolen internet. Yep. I’m a freaking criminal.

4.) In addition to #3, I loathe calling customer service for most companies. I can even get past the fact that many companies outsource to guys like Peggy. (Watch the video if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

What annoys me the most is the lack of understanding of the situation at hand. If it isn’t on the cue cards in front of them, they have no clue how to help you. (Read this post by Tricia at Confessions of a Recovering Cynic for some giggles on this topic.) I also hate being transferred all over the place from one department to the next. I think a lot of times when the representative you are speaking to doesn’t know how to help you, they transfer you…anywhere. If I have a technical support problem, why are you transferring me to billing? I don’t work there but that doesn’t sound right to me. The icing on the cake, of course, is when they disconnect you and THEN you get to call back to start the process all over again. Oh, what fun!

5.) Thank you mailman for occasionally bringing me useful junk mail. Well, I guess it isn’t really junk mail if it is useful. I’ve yet to have to write my return address for months thanks to places like VFW. They send me assorted labels, cards, pens, pads of paper, etc. I love free stuff, except the free “keys” the local car dealerships send. I don't love those.  The only uses I can think up for those is taking them over to the local car dealerships and keying that snot out of every car on the lot.
I need one of these.

Don’t forget to check out my new food blog, Shut Up and Eat Your Food!

Oh and by the way, this is for Mr. Cheese.
That'll show you not to be so sassy.  ;)
‘Til next week…


  1. Am I to understand the he LIED about the kleenex? And not even a GOOD lie? Would he have been in less trouble if he had told the truth?

    You got sick while your husband was home? That has to be the worst luck in the whole world. I'm sorry.

    Ug. Padawan and I have been doing the roundabout with the AT&T internet service and I know exactly how you feel. It's great when you get hung up on and you complain and they say, "Oh, you must have lost service," and then you say, "I'm on a land line. There is not 'service' to go out." And then they disconnect you to keep from having to answer.

    At least AT&T doesn't connect you to India. No thick accents to work through.

  2. #1 - So sorry you're not sleeping...that sucks...I don't know about you, but I'm a cranky bitch when I don't get enough rest :)

    #2 - I was just talking about the Peggy commercial today at work...Too funny to see it posted in your Fantastic Friday Five

    #3 - It's officially your fault the internet has been polluted with a blog from your's truely...

  3. You know the saying...boys will be boys..., but do they have to destroy the house! Thank goodness your husband put it out quickly.
    I'm a new follower from the blog hop. Hope you can hop by and follow me:

    I also have a SMASHBOX giveaway ending tomorrow, if interested:

  4. I don't know which is worse, having their smell on the pillow and sheets still, or once it runs out. It does suck to not sleep for their entire deployment though, hope you can get some rest soon Asha!

    AT&T customer service isn't too bad, but you'll either get someone who will go above and beyond to help you, or you will get a complete tool. There is no in between with them it seems. Just tell them, "Come fix my shit or I will find another company." That seems to put a boot in their butts.

  5. Oh goodness! If I don't get my sleep, I end up plotting chaos and plenty of homicides ;) by the way....I'm so stalking the hell out of you now ;)

  6. Exactly which sassiness got me the big pile of shit? I pollute the Internet with so much of my wit and wisdom that I can't keep track of every little thing.

  7. Oh, nevermind. The crack about taking pictures of everything but bowel movements. That was one of my better comments :)

  8. HI there! I love meeting new people and finding new blogs!! I am your newest follower from the blog hop!! Lovely blog!! You can find me at

  9. 1. ((( Asha ))) I hope you are able to get settled back down again and are able to get some sleep!

    2. Why do I get the impression that, in this particular instance, "super smart son" might have been maybe, a little bit, slightly on the snarky side? =) lol

    3. Hey! I could work as a lawn person! I've been known to shred the internet cable from my satellite internet with the mower too!! Can we job opportunity?? =)

    4. I hereby declare this "throw spitballs at all CSRs day"...I agree with you and with Tricia on this point....sad thing is that I used to be one of the few CSR's that had a clue....even when things went off script. *gasp* However, had I met either of you during that time...I'm pretty sure drinking from a flask, skillfully hidden in my sleeve, between calls - would have become the norm.

    5. Yeah - I got nothin' for this. My mail man just brings me credit card applications and debt resolution notices. Oh! Of course the bills too. None of which, really, still qualifies as useful.

  10. @Chanel Have I mentioned before that the universe hates me? Whenever he comes home on leave I either get sick or get my period. This time I was the lucky enough to get both.
    @Katie I'm so glad you started blogging. Hooray!
    @Nancy Boys will be boys and moms will be moms. And I will beat his ass!
    @Rancher I always seem to get the incompetent ones.
    @Falen I love makes me feel all popular and shit.
    @Doug I liked it too which is why I made sure to link up to you so other people could check out your preschool drawings. ;)
    @Hanna Thanks for stopping by.
    @Jewell You are hired. Do you weed gardens as well?

  11. Well...that depends...what shoe size are you and do you have booze? Just curious! =)

  12. @Jewell I wear a 7 1/2 and you know who the hell you are talking to??? I ALWAYS have booze.

  13. HA! =) Well crap...apparently I should have clarified! What I *meant* to say do you have booze that I wouldn't have to bitch fight you for. =)

  14. Hi there,
    Hope you get some rest... Happy Spotlight Saturday Blog Hop... Stopping by to say hello and to let you know I'm following you via GFC! :-)

  15. Following you from bloghop. I like your blog and look forward to reading more. Hope you come for a visit to my blog as well. BTW, I always have trouble sleeping but my husband snores ;)

  16. Have the people at AT&T hounded you about their U-Verse package? Good God! It's not that I would mind switching over to their cable; I'm just not going to do if someone's trying to pressure me. I called a while back about some weird charges on my phone bill that turned out to be from my daughter repeatedly using three-way calling which one of her friends assured her was "totally free!" (yeah, thanks.) Anyway, halfway through this call the lady starts pushing the U-Verse stuff like someone's got a gun to her head, threatening to shoot if she doesn't make a quota. Now really, you shouldn't have customer service people making sales pitches. That's just annoying. Another time they sent a guy around with a clipboard telling me about how they just "upgraded the whole neighborhood" Yeah, great. *slam* *lock*

  17. follower from Weekend hop. Would love for you to visit and return the follow. HAGW! Sorry to hear about your carpet...not good :-(.

  18. That little stick figure guy looks pretty awesome up there. It seems I messed up the code a little and it didn't link, but it still looks great :)

  19. @Jewell I'm a generous drunk. I'll share.
    @eof Thanks. Me too.
    @Siv Yeah, I'm no stranger to lack of sleep. This is my third deployment.
    @Bryan You know, they have yet to try to push U-verse on me. Maybe it is because I have DirecTV. When we ordered DirecTV, they offered to let us bundle our internet service with AT&T.
    @Susan My next blog may be out my son's
    @Doug I think I fixed it on my end so it would cooperate if someone clicked on it.

  20. Hope things are looking up. And you did have some good days, along with the trying ones while your husband was home. What a beautiful ring [post below]. It makes one afraid to leave kids home alone for even a half hour.

  21. @Debra Yeah, I don't think I'll EVER be leaving him home alone. lol


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