Shit You Should Know

Friday, February 25, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #5

TGIF!! I didn’t think I’d make it. Wednesday at bedtime I told my son not to worry because tomorrow was Friday. He asked if I was drunk. Then he told me that the following day was in fact Thursday just like every other week for as long as he can remember.

Ah, sarcasm! I was tempted to make up an elaborate story about how “back when I was a kid” there were no Thursdays and Fridays always followed Wednesdays. I suppose I could have come up with something blaming the evil Thursday on the communists or religious fanatics or even super liberals for that matter. I guess I could have just blamed science. I mean after all if they can just come to the conclusion that Pluto is no longer a planet, I’m sure they can also come up with a reason to add another day to the week, right?

Anyway…drum roll, please.

FANTASTIC! FRIDAY! FIVE! live from my house straight to your computer screen for your reading/viewing pleasure. I do it because I care….I care a lot…like a care bear only not as fuzzy because I recently shaved. I suppose my official care bear name would be something like Sleep Deprived Bear or Sips A Lot Bear or maybe even Still In Pajamas Bear. Any of those would work.

Now for this week’s list:

1.) I am another week closer to seeing my husband and there is a song stuck on me head. I’m not sure what the name of it us but is goes something like “bow chicka wawa”.
2.) I went to a meeting yesterday at the kids’ school about my son. Hopefully, this will be the last. The results of all the tests they have been doing came out. The boy is NOT ADD or ADHD. So now they can shut their faces and realize he is just your typical bored 10 year old boy. They need to stop trying to turn our kids into robotic zombies and embrace their creativity and imagination. Also, he scored average in basically everything except Reading and Language. According to the tests, he is reading on an eighth grade level and has a seventh graders vocabulary. That is he knows how to read and use in a sentence all of the known curse words. Mama is proud.

3.) So much for the nice spring-like weather. It’s back in the thirties. I told you guys before we needed to get a handle on Al Gore and all his global warming voodoo. Ok. Who’s sneaking food down to the basement? Confess!
4.) My little girl scout has sold 250 boxes so far. If the government relied on the girl scouts to save the economy, we’d be in much better hands.
5.) Good news! I made a shiny new friend this past week that has yet to ask me what church I go to and if I’d like to go to her church. Here on the Bible Belt that is a BIG DEAL. Insert spastic white girl dancing here.

Before I forget, I want to thank Debbie at No Filter Mom for giving me the Versatile Blogger award. With that being said, you guys can all be prepared for yet another narcissistic post about yours truly and you can brace yourselves for me passing along the blog world’s version of a STD. You’re welcome.


  1. #5 made me giggle a lot. I am never quite sure how to respond when people invite me to their church. 'Uhm..yeah...sure...I might be busy that day though...'

    I do have a few scavenger hunt suggestions for you, I will try to get them in a neat, tidy sorted out mess and get it to you later tonight.

  2. Ummm...I think for #1 that's just mental replay of the soundtrack of the porn you were watching last night. =) I'm sure it's only temporary and will subside in a couple weeks..... I'm not a doctor...but I like to pretend =) lol

  3. We all miss Pluto.

    I want a T-Shirt that says, "Size doesn't matter. Pluto is still a planet. Jerks."

    Or something to that effect.

  4. @R-Mom I appreciate it. You can email them to me at Thanks for your help.
    @Jewell Can you give me a valium prescription? If not, I'll have to change doctors. By the way, was my web cam on by mistake??????
    @Chanel I'd buy that shirt and wear it proudly!

  5. Do you know what two animals made a porn together?
    Brown chicken, brown cow.

  6. @Doug I hope they used a condom because that doesn't sound like pleasant offspring.

  7. Re: valium...ummm, yeah? =-p

    Re: your I just happened to be watching the same one last night! =)

  8. Your number 5 cracked me up.
    But I have to say, not as much as your profile goat joke. I read it out loud to my 9 year old and he was like.." That's really funny! Mostly because it's true. Goats are kind of buttheads."

  9. @Jewell I knew I liked you. we have the same taste in porn too. It's uncanny. lol
    @Lesley I bet your son is very clever. And you are right. Goats are buttheads!

  10. "The boy" I love that. It sounds like he's got his own room in the basement.

    It's a shame that this is a written medium. I do a mean Slingblade impression. "You ought not-a done that to your boy. He jus' a little fellar."

    "I wouldn't mind a few cans of that potted meat if you can spare any extree mmm-hmmm"

  11. LOL! "I'll take me some a them there french fried potaters."

  12. LOL! Love your Friday Five!

    I think they assume every boy has ADD/ADHD. Sounds like your guy is doing just fine to me!

  13. @Boobies First, I can't believe I'm talking to Second, I think you're right.


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