Shit You Should Know

Friday, April 15, 2011

Fantastic Friday Five #8

Ok. I KNOW I missed last week’s Fantastic Friday Five and NO I don’t really have a good excuse other than oops, I forgot. I suppose to make it up to you guys I should give you double the Fantastic Friday Five…but, I’m not that generous. Oh, and I’m lazy…and sort of bitchy. Read between the lines of #1 and you’ll know why. So here’s this week’s and this week’s only Fantastic Friday Five for your reading pleasure.

1.) After a fun filled time with my husband for his leave, I am happy to announce I am NOT pregnant! This totally deserved a spot at #1 this week. My best friend is getting her tubes tied. Sounds like a GREAT idea to me!!!
2.) After over a year, my parents are finally making a trip to my house. I’m excited. My sister and her son are coming too. She is already making a list of things she wants me to cook for her. My mother wants to play Rockband. ;) Oh, it’s on!!
3.) It is almost official. Today, I sent in my final payment for our truck. Once I am holding that title in my hand, I am throwing a party. Of course, the shindig will involve me and a bottle (or two) of wine, but a party nonetheless.
4.) I want to move to a nudist colony. Seriously! I am so freaking sick of doing laundry. I swear sometimes I don’t even think the kids wear the clothes that I wash. What is REALLY infuriating is when I find folded…FOLDED clothes in the dirty clothes basket that now smell like stank ass!
5.) Apparently, I’m awesome. (Of course, if you are here reading this you should already know that.) What you may not know is it seems I am SO super “fantabulously” awesome that someone is out there impersonating me on Facebook. However, it seems they have a few things wrong. For instance, it says I’m a cashier at Burger King. I’m also a stripper who’s in college. Oh, and I’m from Poland. I’ve also noticed that I have poor grammar that reads similar to a letter from a foreign scam artist wanting to “give” you money. See here and here.  I’ve learned so much about myself. (Update: The picture has been changed…probably because I reported them to the Facebook powers that be.)

Ok.  I've changed my mind.  I will give you a small bonus since I left you hanging last week.

BONUS:  If anyone knows where I can get one of these you can contact me via my fake Facebook page above.
Enjoy your weekend!!!


  1. Sugar Lumps party! Now that's my kind of party lol!

    I was actually just thinking, "Man I hope that Asha is safe what with all that nasty weather down in OK."

  2. Aww, thanks for thinking of me. We weren't near the tornados. I live in southern OK but the wind here is retarded! We are getting gusts of like 50 mph. My neighbors basetball goal looks like it wants to be ripped out of the ground.

  3. I was totally in on the nudist colony until I looked at the pic. No thank you. I prefer stanky folded clothes.

  4. It looks like your impostor has one of those "Scene" hairstyles discussed HERE

    Now, see. If I had moved to Phoenix, I could have put on some black gloves, gone down to that Burger King and made her "consider" a name change. Ya know what I'm saying?

    P.S. Since when is Stripping a sport?

  5. I like the nudist idea. Maybe get everyone strategically-placed inner tubes like the dude in the photo. Just hose off every once in a while and you're good to go.

  6. All is right in the world again...the Fantastic Friday Five is here this week!...I think it's hilarious that you're happy to announce you're NOT pregnant...I thought I was the only person who celebrated not being pregnant each you have a great time with your family in town...I never thought I'd miss my parents...The older I get, the more I wish we lived closer...

  7. Wow...those Nigerians sure are mean. Calling you an idiot for failing to follow his, I mean his WIFE'S, instructions.

    Well done on your part!

    As for the fake facebook page...I wonder what teenager's page they robbed that new picture from?

  8. Fun blog! Following you on GFC for the WBH. Have a great weekend!

  9. @Heather Some people should ALWAYS be fully clothed.
    @Bryan I wondered the same thing about her being a member of the stripper league. I wonder when it will become an olympic sport. It must be the pole dancing. That must be how "I" got that "nice ass to bang". LMAO!!
    @Jill Thank goodness for the inner tubes.
    @Katie There has been a monthly celebration each month for almost eight years. My youngest will be eight at the end of June.
    @Chanel Lucky for me I'm not foolish but I'm sure there are people out this that fall for it.
    @Michelle Thanks for stopping by.

  10. I just went back there to find the "nice ass to bang" part you were talking about, and I noticed that under activities she has "Fucking guys and girls" Now THAT ought to keep her busy.

  11. Yeah, and I'm not sure how she finds the time with all those games she's playing with "sex toys" and all those "sexual" books she's reading. If that profile doesn't scream FAKE, I don;t know what does.

  12. I am now following you from the hop. Thank you, Amee from

  13. I'm following you from the Welcome to the Weekend Blog Hop. I'd love for you to check out my site and follow back

  14. Ok...that nudist pic...I think I just threw up a little. Was that kind of treatment really necessary when you left us hanging last week? Or is that as a result of the "bitchy" side of you? =)

    Yay! Isn't sending that last payment off for the vehicle the best feeling? I did that with my car last summer. It was such a fantastic feeling!

    Have an awesome time with your family when they come to visit!!! ox

  15. That picture is the only thing from keeping me moving to a nudist colony (that and while i'm not that bad no ones is gonna want to see me naked). I am so sick of laundry. Ugh.

    Wow popular enough that someones is impersonating you on FB that is pretty popular. Scary but popular. Glad FB made 'it' change it's picture.

    Oh and congrats on paying of the truck, we just payed off the Envoy and got my title in today! Party at my house!!

  16. New follower from So Followed Saturday" Blog Hop.

  17. I love the pic of the pup and the fan...cute!

    Checking out your blog from the weekend blog hop. I am your newest follower!

    Would love to have you visit my blog and follow back...have a great weekend!


  18. Following from the Welcome to weekend hop. So glad I found your blog, you are hilarious. Going to go back through and read your previous friday fives! Definitely looking forward to reading future posts. Thank you for the laugh, I was in terrible need of it! :-)


  19. I don't understand why you are bitchy. Please explain. You seem to be happy you are not pregnant, so it seems like you should be not bitchy. Is there some kind of weird biological process you are going through or something? I am confused.

  20. @Doug Go ask your wife, friend. Mrs. Cheese should be able to shed a little light for you, silly.

  21. Amazing that someone has the time to impersonate another person! Hard enough keep track of the day-to-day stuff for yourself. Funny post and great pictures as usual.

  22. Facebook fakers are terribles. Blech!

    Thanks for joining us last week for Making Friends Monday. We would love to have you join us again this week!
    - Leandrea @ Coupons Are Great

  23. 1-My best friend had her tubes tied when she turned 22, as she already had 2 children. 7 years later, she got knocked up on her honeymoon. My cousin had hers tied and is now preggers with twins. Sperm will find a way.

    3-If the 'Chords show up, I'll PAY for an invite.

    4-A friend and I showed up at a bar not knowing it was hosting a private swingers party one night. The effect was the same. If your own spouse won't hump you, no one else will either, trust.

    5-I once had someone on my local Craig's List impersonating me. After several bouts of nastyness, Craig helped me track down the guy, who was someone I'd dumped years before. Your story is much more fun.

    I have to follow, being another Agnostic, sailor mouthed, snarky mom.

  24. @K Freaking sperm! Alwasy fertilizing shit they need to stay away from.

  25. Hello!! Following you from "I love My Online Friends" and hope that you'll follow me back! Have a great day!


  26. Following you from the hop! Please stop by and say hi
    Maureen :)


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