Shit You Should Know

Showing posts with label exercise is the devil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise is the devil. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

You Know It's Time To Blog When...

Do you know how long it has been since I posted here?  Try all summer long.  I know many of you are blaming my children and have probably plotted having them kidnapped.  Believe me it wasn't just having them home for the summer that made blogging difficult.  I have taking on a mission to keep myself busy during my husband's absence.  Here are a few things that I did and/or currently doing:
  • I located a house I liked and got my husband's stamp of approval via email.  With my power of attorney in hand, I closed on the house.  So, now when I fill out surveys I get to check "own home" instead of "rent".  That's bad ass! 

  • The kids are doing all sorts of activities in addition to scouts.  The boy is enrolled in both gymnastics and kung fu.  His dream of being a professional wrestler is at his fingertips.  My girl child is doing gymnastics and we are getting ready to sign her up for horseback riding as well.
    • I have joined a gym.  It is time to get my fat ass moving.  My husband is out there getting his desert sexy on, making me look bad.  We can't have that now, can we?
    This is just scratching the surface.  I have learned from previous deployments that too much downtime leads to depression.  I have decided instead to keep busy and just embrace my anxiety.

    The house alone is keeping me busy.  Since we have moved out to the country, I can read my zombie books in peace knowing that the country folks usually live longer for the simple fact that there are less people to turn into zombies.  See?  Living 30 minutes from the nearest Wal-Mart is a good thing.  Now if we have an outbreak of zombie cows, I'm screwed.
    Deviant Art

    In the meantime, I'm trying to get into a groove of blogging again and I'm sure I will attain one soon.  After all, the children are back in school but I had to spend the first weeks running around the house naked waving my freedom flag.  It was glorious.

    Don't worry though.  I will be back again soon.  I knew it was time to blog again when I started dreaming about it.  Of course, in my dream my ramblings were much more entertaining...and I was skinnier.

    Wednesday, April 27, 2011

    An Award, Eyeballs, and Triple F

    First, it seems that in the circle of bloggers in which I’ve grown accustomed to associating myself are now trending our eyes. All thanks to Chanel, of course. So here is my contribution.  Conveniently, since I've got my eyes on all of you I have also received this award times two from both Chanel and Bryan. They recognize my awesome…or at least, they tolerate it.
    As always these little suckers come with rules…rules that I intend to twist to conform to my ever changing mood.

    Stinking Rules:

    1. List three things you would change if you were Overlord.

    2. List ten blogs worthy of world domination. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. How about three?

    3. Contact them about their new position of power.

    As your overlord, I would make the following changes:


    1.) First and foremost, I would lock some scientists in an underground laboratory until they invented teleportation. Screw the cost of fuel! I teleport, bitches!
    2.) I would also do away with telemarketers. I mean, seriously, with all the junk mail we get in our inboxes and mailboxes do we really need phone calls too? REALLY? I would also execute anyone who sold another person’s contact information.
    3.) Lastly, I would lower the salaries of most celebrities, athletes, and politicians. Many of these fools have so much money they don’t even know what to do with it. I mean, how many freaking cars does one person really need? I would take their cut salaries and apply them to people who actually make a difference like teachers, librarians, scientists, charities, etc.

    Now the poor bastards that get this powerful award are…drumroll please…


    Jewell of Really! Wait. What?

    Rancher Mom of Rancher Mom's Realm

    Thundercat of Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista
    Also since I had company all weekend, I’m REALLY behind on my Fantastic Friday Five. I figured why not just throw it in here with this post.

    1.) I’ve been listening to a zombie book on tape while jogging on the treadmill. I’ve come to the conclusion that the worst time to encounter a zombie would be during sex, especially if the person you were screwing was the one turning. As George Carlin would say, “These are the thoughts what keep me from being a productive member of society.”
    2.) Finally, it rained in the great state of Oklahoma and I’m happy to say the truck hasn’t leaked. Now I just need to make it to the 2nd when I’ll finally be able to get the ol’ girl fixed.

    3.) The kids recently had a photo-shoot. My son wasn’t very interested but my daughter, well, that’s a whole other animal. She thought she was a superstar. Here are a few. Keep in mind some of these are were scanned from the composite sheet so they are a little gritty.





    4.) I’m so glad it’s rained. Goodness knows we needed it. My lawn and garden thanks you, Mother Nature. I do have one more request. Can I get a good night time thunderstorm, preferably one with some kick ass lightening and some sweet grumbling?

    5.) During my parents’ visit, we went to the mountains and we ended up in the Holy City, home of the longest running passion play. I just want to let everyone know I wasn’t struck by lightning or anything upon stepping foot in the chapel. More details about the visit soon.

    ‘Til next time, friends.

    Friday, January 28, 2011

    The Very First Fantastic Friday Five

    It’s time for an update for all of you out there that actually give a shit. I’ve decided Friday is always a good day for that aka a good day for some filler. So here it is my Fantastic Friday Five for your reading pleasure. Enjoy…or not.

    1.) We are officially no longer indebted to the U.S. treasury. The husband does not have a default army re-enlistment bonus hovering in his credit report. Happy dance! Now I can start paying off the truck.

    2.) The first born is improving in school. It’s about damn time too! He’s driving me crazy being punished. I don’t know who suffers more, me or him. Progress reports will be coming home next week. According to his teacher he has an A in English and Science and a C in Math, Reading, and Social Studies.
    If he keeps this up, I’ll have to fork out the retarded amount of money as promised for Space Camp. He needs to finish the school year with an A in Science and at least a B in everything else.

    3.) My fat ass is trying to get in shape. I’ve taken on Atkins again…only because it allows me to see results from the start. Results keep me focused and I normally lack focus. I also am in the routine of doing the Wii Fit each day and walking on the treadmill. I am kicking ass (basically my own) on the Wii Fit. I am the queen of the hula hoops.
    My husband said, “Well, you did always know how to work your hips.” To which I responded, “When you got an ass this big, you kind of have no choice!”

    4.) My husband gave me an early Valentine’s Day gift. It’s a pearl ring to go with my other pearl jewelry. It’s fantastic!
    5.) Lastly, Doug over at I Like Cheese has decided that my blog does not suck and has given me an award to prove it. Be sure to pay him a visit and make sure you let him know that you don’t think I suck either.
    Well, friends, that about wraps it up for this first installment of my Fantastic Friday Five. Feel free to do your own. I’m not stingy. You don’t even have to link back to me.

    Stay tuned for zombie dreams, death, phone harassment, and adventures in scouting all coming soon.