Don't Be A Drag...

Driving down the street the other day, I actually broke away from my IPod and clicked on the radio. That’s unusual for a few reasons. 1.) Music today, to me, (this is me being old) has lost a lot of its originality. Instead of being unique, they try to mimic and then one up their musical influences. Boring! I know this is nothing new but it just seems much more prevalent. 2.) The typical radio stations around here play the “hits” aka crap or country or Christian…also, crap. 3.) The few classic rock stations that I am able to get around here (and I use the term “classic” loosely since it plays songs from the 80s and 90s) are so static-y that half the time I don’t even bother.

My kids, on the other hand, are typically like any other generation. They think the “new” music is so amazing and original. I have to bite my tongue sometimes because they tend to get really offended when I insult their musical preferences. I have to remind myself that my parents probably hated my choices too.

My son has a pretty decent grasp of music…in my opinion…as in he likes many of the things that my husband and I enjoy. Although, he does like Katy Perry. Of course, he reminds me every time he sees the Addidas or Proactiv commercials that it’s just because she’s hot.

My daughter on the other hand has definite elementary school girl taste. She likes to listen to Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Justin Beiber, and Ke$ha (yes, the chick with a dollar sign in her name…how the fuck do you even pronounce that???). I don’t think this group is talentless. I just think that their songs lack substance. Counting Crows they are not.  Again, elementary school girl taste...I mean, I liked New Kids on the Block when I was her age.
There is a fourth reason I end up listening to the radio. 4.) I forgot my IPod at home. Oops!  This is exactly how I gotstuck listening to the radio this time.

So, yeah, the car ride…

We end up listening to this…


Oh, Gaga! Even though, you try to capture us with your shock and awe, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen and heard this all before…most recently Madonna. To be more specific, isn’t “Born This Way” just an updated cross version of “Express Yourself” and "Vogue" anyway? Seriously, have you listened to this, Gaga?




I suppose it could be worse. It could be this.



I’ll just take this Friday. Thank you very much.



I’ll leave you with eight words of wisdom…

“Don’t be a drag, just be a queen.”

Well said, Gaga. Well said.

Somebody Call An Ambulance!

My daughter damn near gave me a heart attack!

Her friend came knocking on the door looking for her.  I went into her room to tell her someone was here for her.  She wasn't there even though the Jonas Brothers were blaring from her television.  I told her friend to go ahead in the backyard because by the art of deduction I assume she was back there.

Shortly later, her friend came back and told me she wasn't there either.  It's very unlike my daughter to wonder off so my heart is racing.  I go across the street to see if she is playing at one girls house and the friend checks another house.  Both of us met back empty handed.  I decide to go back into our yard to see if maybe she was hiding from her friend.  She wasn't.

At this point I am thinking, I'm going to call my son to see if she went off with him and his friend.  In the back of my mind I am debating at what point does someone call the police which, of course, gives me butterflies.  You know that feeling you used to get when you were a little kid and you thought you were lost in the grocery store?  Yeah, well, it felt like that only like ten times worse.  I sure it's because it wasn't the thought of "Oh no, my parents abandoned me.".  It was more like, "Oh shit!  This is like the begining of an episode of Law & Order: SVU."  Let me tell you...NOT a good feeling.

So as I am searching for my cell phone, my daughter's friend happens to look in my bedroom and there's my daughter.  That little shit was sitting on my bed in the dark on the computer freaking playing Petville in Facebook!!  I wanted to strangle her and hug her all at the same time.

You know I've heard people say that there is nothing like getting the heart racing to remind you that you're alive.  Uhhhhh...yeaaaaah...I'm going to stick to roller coaster and horror movies.  I think I have had enough excitement for today.  I'm going to have a stiff drink now to recuperate.

Back To School Bliss

Ten more days until school starts! *shimmy shimmy happy dance*


I’ve grown tired listening to arguments between the children. One of the latest went something like this:

My son kicks my daughter in the butt. “Your butt jiggles.” he says.

“Your butt is stupid!” yells my daughter.

“Your face!”

“I hate your face!” she screams like a banshee and slams her bedroom door in his face.

It’s little love filled interactions like these that make up my day. Can’t you just feel the love? Periodically, I have to check eBay and Craigslist just to check to make sure neither of them put the other up for sale. On the upside, they’ll have many humorous stories to tell at family get-togethers once they are grown and out of my house. *Remember that time when you…* Ah, good times!  Good times!

On a lighter note, I have finished all of the back to school clothes shopping for the kids. They will be styling and profiling! Check them out!

Her most favorite shirt

Every little girl loves Hannah!

Skinny-mini in her skinny jeans.

Pinky

Typical girl...love, love, LOVES trying on clothes

She's a little diva!

Always striking a pose!

Pure cuteness

The boy is ready to get some school on!

The jeans were too tight so he was sucking in his gut.

I just don't ask anymore...

His John Cena move...

What can I say?  The boy is special.

Don't tell him I told you but he enjoyed trying on clothes too.

He knows he's cute.

As you can see my babies, errr, big kids...are ready to start another year of school.  But no one in our house is more excited than me.  Hell, I'll be like the Home Alone kid once they leave on the first day.  I may even run around naked!  Don't worry...I won't post those pictures.

This Is Only the Beginning

School will be starting up again soon and I couldn't be happier. Hooray for education! Now the kids will have other things to do besides take in large doses of Xbox and Nickelodeon. If I have to watch one more episode of i-Carly, I may just snap!

In other news...can someone please tell me at what age do boys stop being disgusting? My ten year old is heading an anti-soap campaign. I believe he may even have corporate sponsors. A few weeks ago I caught him in the bathroom with the shower running, standing at the sink splashing water on himself and that was AFTER I sent him back for coming out of bathroom smelling like deep fried bunghole. Today, he's on his third trip to the tub. He swears he washed his hair yet it still smells like hot ass. You know the sweaty kid smell I'm talking about, right? It's the odor that sort of smells like a wet dog. Today between the second and third time he went into the bathroom, my husband and I chased him around the backyard. I threatened to strip him down and scrub him with a brilo pad if he didn't get back in the tub and bathe properly! Our neighbors must love us.

I'm going to keep this short. It's been years since I've blogged, at least two. I have every intention of getting back in the habit so, please, excuse my rustiness.