Bet You Weren't Expecting Me...

Miss me?  Damn right, you did!

In my hiatus, I have:

• ·         survived my husband’s deployment (I use the term “survived” EXTREMELY liberal, of course.)
• ·         gotten a full time job at a home improvement establishment (currently, I am slinging appliances.)
• ·         stepped down as leader of my daughter’s Girl Scout troop (my baby girl is growing up, *sniffle*.)
• ·         and also, managed to forgive a few people who didn’t deserve my forgiveness (however, I deserved the freedom from the hate stewing inside of me.)

Picture found here

Now that I got you all caught up, we can proceed to my regularly scheduled shenanigans…

Oh, how I miss the days I was a lady of leisure.  Recently, I was sick with strep throat and remembered (between my fevered bouts of delirium) how much I missed being home.  Today was my first day back to work in nearly a week.  While I enjoy the people I work with and the work that I do, I sometimes want to tell the general public to suck an egg.

Anyone out there that has ever worked with the public, especially in retail, knows EXACTLY what I mean.  Some people can be so awful.  You are probably thinking I am referring to those folks that yell and scream.  While I consider those people to be rather difficult, the breed of customer I loathe the most would have to be the ones who have no regard for a retail worker as a human being…mainly the ones that talk over you.  I HATE that!

Last week, this middle age couple came in.  I hereby dub them Mr. & Mrs. Magoo.  I greeted them like I would any customer and asked if I could help them.  They said they had some questions about a particular dishwasher.  

Picture found here

Mr. Magoo asked questions about every single possible detail of the appliance.  “Ummm, yeah…are the screws that bolt the handle galvanized stainless steel?  Who invented the first dishwasher?  What is your mother’s maiden name???”  Of course, I knew the answers (and even if I didn’t I can sure as hell make it sound like I do, *wink wink*).  So I proceed to answer and as I get a few words into my response to Mr. Magoo’s extensive shake-down, the ever so lovely Mrs.Magoo interrupts me to ask me her own questions WHICH SHE ALSO ANSWERS!!!  Oh, I’m sorry, Mrs. Magoo, would you like me to go away so you can sell your own appliance to yourself.  Shit people!  Why didn’t you just order it online??

Picture found here

It’s no secret that I attract crazy people.  I don’t know if I make them feel at ease or maybe they are just attracted to their own kind.  I can deal with crazy.  I find it entertaining but, rude is beyond my scope of tolerance. 

Today, I had the pleasure of dealing with this woman who needed help with a washer.  For the life of me, I cannot understand why someone would ask you a question and then try to convince you that you are wrong.  Standing in front of two washers, she asks me which one has a larger capacity.  I show her which one is bigger (seriously, by .1 cubic foot) and she proceeds to disagree with me.  She says, “Look in here.  This one is bigger.”  I try to contain my annoyance and try to explain to her that it is not even a cubic foot difference.  She continues to insist that I look inside the tub.  At this point, I felt that I needed to humor her in order to move along in the sale so I agree that it looks larger by telling her that that the tub is wider but more shallow.  It seemed logical.

Dealing with her was the least of the problem.  Shortly after, her friend walked up. 

Guys, her friend knew everything about everything!  In hindsight, I should have asked for the secret to universe.  I’m serious!  Anything that the customer would ask me, the friend would chime in with her own two cents.  Once again, I hate to be interrupted but, more so, I hate to be interrupted with inaccurate information.  I just don’t have the patience to deal with the Kanyes of the world today or anyday for that matter.

Picture found here

This rambling is done for now.  When you are out and about consuming and contributing to the economy, please remember that the guy mixing your paint, the girl behind the cash register, the lady taking your order, and the man working the customer service desk are fucking human beings.  Treat them as such.  If you can’t go into an establishment and show basic common courtesy, do us a favor and stay home and order your shit online.

Picture found here

No Sympathy For A Child Killer

Just a brief update here…


After months of nothing about the death of my ten year old son’s friend’s murder other than this, it has finally been made know that Lancey Ray, this man,

will finally stand trial facing first degree murder charges for the death of his stepson, Malik Ray, from December 23, 2011. It is believed that the ten year old child went into shock and then cardiac arrest after being beaten with a belt and a cutting board.  The brief article can be read here .

Words can never express how this event has infuriated me. The impact on my son can be found here. I do not choose to describe it again. My only wish is that the loss of Malik finds justice.

Butterflies in My Stomach

I have a feeling sleep will not be an option tonight. I am so anxious! The butterflies in my stomach have butterflies. Around 6 this evening I got a text from my husband letting me know that he was waiting to leave Dubai to head to London. His flight in Dubai was delayed but he said he should still make the connecting flight in London to Dallas. I REALLY hope so!! Once he gets to Dallas, he will have just one more connecting flight to get him home to me.


The scavenger hunt is still a go. I’m going to try to video tape it because family and friends want to see the kids’ faces when they see their dad. I will have to see if the camera holds a charge long enough for me to accomplish that. I can always use my phone as back up for pictures and video. I’m just not sure how well all that works…or HOW it works for that matter. I’m still learning.

Unfortunately, I need to go camera shopping. I brought the camera into the battery store to have the battery checked because it didn’t seem to be holding a charge. Of course, the battery needed to be replaced but also found out that the actual port where you plug in the charger is loose and that is also causing the camera not to charge properly. The new battery would run me $40 and the external charger (where you actually place the battery itself inside to charge) would also cost $40. I ended up passing on that because I can get a brand new camera for a couple hundred. It would be stupid to put out $80 for a camera that is over five years old.

Since I’m wired anyway, I am browsing my blog stats. Some of the things people search for on the internet can be disturbing. What’s more disturbing are the things that occasionally lead them here. This particular post has gotten my blog so many hits with people out there in cyberspace searching things like “big ass butt plug” and “red butt plug sex toy”. Someone out there has even searched for “words containing ‘-tastic’”. Apparently, people out there are also very interested in meth and that leads them here as well. I assume it was this post that lures them in.

Also, the universe hates a lot of people because many folks are searching for “the universe hates me” and since the universe hates me most of all, they find themselves here.  My contribution to Time Travel Month also came up in the search results for some.  I'm sure it's because I used the line "This is heavy, Doc." as my title.  “Streaming dad and daughter love” got someone here. I’m not sure WHY or what post reeled them in but I’m sure I don’t want to know what they were really looking for but I can assume they were disappointed.

The topic that seems to bring people here the most lately is this post. People want to know about Lancey Ray’s trial. I know I do. I have searched for information myself and have seen my blog show up in the search results. I’m ready for that man to be buried under the jail.

He’s a monster and his wife should be sentenced right along with him for not only not protecting her child but also participating in the beatings that eventually got so out of hand they took the life of a young boy who my son describes as funny and smart.

I guess I can also share this with anyone who finds themselves here because they are searching for information about Lancey Ray. In my latest search I did find that Lancey Ray is actually the adult son of a school superintendent in Social Circle, Georgia. You can read the article here. I will keep updating as I find more.

One last thing before I go...my daughter has sold 575 boxes of cookies. Just 25 more until she reaches her goal.

Now I am going to end it here. As I said before, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me for a while. My honey will be home and I plan on being VERY busy.

Fantastic Friday Five #6

It’s Friday again and that means it’s time for another Fantastic Friday Five. The post that contains random whatnots that don’t merit their own individual posts. I’ll just get right to it.

1.) I went the dentist and she bestowed the gift of painkillers on me. Technically, it wasn’t a gift. I TOTALLY earned that shit. I just hope my words make sense to other people besides just me.

2.) My husband will be here on Sunday!!! I am beyond anxious. He is actually leaving there tomorrow and flying into Dubai. He has to stay a night there and then he heads here. It is still a complete surprise for the kids and I am still planning on doing the scavenger hunt with them.

3.) I have a shoe addiction. I may need an intervention. These are my recent purchases. At least, I have stellar taste, right?

   

   

4.) I am completely frustrated that I am unable to find any updated news on Lancey Ray, the man that beat my son’s friend Malik to death back in December. His preliminary hearing was supposed to be Wednesday. I figured the media would have had something to say but there has been nothing. My son asked about it yesterday. More on this particular topic soon.

5.) The kids and I made a book run at Goodwill. The boy ended up finding the first three books to the series, 39 Clues, and the girl child managed to find a few Babysitter’s Club Little Sister books. As for me, I let me fingers do the walking and was lucky enough to find a copy of The Exorcist. I can’t wait to be engulfed in that book.

Well, that about sums it up. I’ve tried to keep it short this week. My brain is all over the place with the return of my honey approaching quickly.

One quick Girl Scout update: My daughter has sold 512 boxes so far. She is closing in on her goal of 600. Sales go on until the 24th so I am confident she will reach it especially since she has two Wal-Mart cookie booths scheduled. Whooty-whoot!

‘Til next time…

I Got A Golden Ticket!

I got a golden ticket. Well, it’s actually more silvery but it’s metallic and sparkly all the same. Bryan over at Nuclear Headache has deemed me worthy of head trauma this award. Thanks, Mr. White. I hope I make you proud.

Now for the rules…I hate rules.

1. Link back to the jerk that gave you the award. (Karma is a bitch, Bryan. I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little blog too. Wow!  I'm corny.)

2. Share eight things about myself. (There were seven but odd numbers make me uncomfortable. I guess I’m a snob like that...or a nut.  You make the choice.  Oh, well. Either way...BONUS!)

3. Punish ten other bloggers I'm currently following. (I’m bringing you all down with me!)

4. Let them know that you have passed this curse on to them. (And don’t pretend that I haven’t just left you a comment on your blog telling you, bitches!)


Ok. On with the show…

1.) I have been married almost 12 years (end of May). Yes, that’s right. There is a man out there that can put up with my unique form of craziness…deploying to the Middle East every so often also helps.

2.) Although I am generally anti-religion, I have read the Bible from cover to cover about 3 times in my life by my own choosing. As an old piece of literature, I find it interesting. I have read the New International Version (NIV), the King James Version, and the American Standard Version. I wish I knew Hebrew and Aramaic so I could read non-translated versions. I own many books on world religions and I am very interested in reading more. Humanity's need for faith is what intrigues me.

3.) When I go to sleep at night the bedroom, the bathroom, and closet doors all must be closed or I can’t fall asleep. I think it is a childhood habit I’ve never been able to shake.  Maybe there are owls in there.

4.) When I was in high school, I was president of the drama club and I played Alice in Alice in Wonderland.

5.) I have never been outside of the United States. It is a sad, sad life that I lead. However, before I see other countries I want to see more of my own country.

6.) I love camping and I wish I could do it more.

7.) I was Girl Scout for six years as a child and I am tickled that my daughter has continued the tradition.

8.) I read A LOT of zombie books and I watch A LOT of zombie movies. I am not ashamed!

Now I’m supposed to pass this on to 10 other bloggers that I keep up with. HA, HA! Suckers!

Debbie @ No Filter Mom
She’s a trip and she likes lists so this is right up her non-filtered alley.

Tiffany @ Shhhh! Just Between U & Me
This will be a fun welcome back award for when she gets back on the blogging boat.

Mother Theresa @ The Rain in Spain...
My only rule is she can’t give it to Erik…because Erik gets everything! (Just kidding, MT!)

Smart Ass Sara @ Welcome to Sara's Organized Chaos
She always comes up the craziest shit. I look forward to reading her list.

Jewell @ Really?! Wait! What?
She’s my shiny new friend and that makes her eligible for a kick ass award from me.

Kamilla @ Basket of Dreams
She’s silly and I enjoy following her American adventures. I wish I knew Tagalog so I could read her Philippine blog.

Tanya @ A Taste of T
Thought Bubble Thursdays are enough to earn her this shiny award.

Jacky @ Life And My Craft
This girl has got skills with that camera. I enjoy looking at all her shots.

Doris @ Sprinkles of My Life
She was always fun, going way back. I enjoy keeping up with her “sprinkles” in Italy.

Cat @ Zipbag of Bones
She’s hysterical and I don’t remember where the hell I found her but I’m glad I did.

Now apparently, I must be a closet feminist considering I just dished this bad boy out to 10 women. Oh well. I look forward to reading all of your blogs when you guys finally brag post about your super spectacular award.

Oh and by the way…happy freaking Valentine’s Day. If you are getting laid tonight, I fucking hate you. That is all.

Did Somebody Have A Bad Day At Work?

While we spent the holidays in New Orleans, I received a phone call from the homeroom mother from my son’s class. At the time, my mother-in-law, my kids, and I were at Chuck E. Cheese’s having a grand old time stuffing our faces with pizza as the kids blitzed around the place shoving tokens into games for tickets that they hoped would get them a prize off the top shelf. That’s right. They wanted top shelf shit!


The first time the home room mother called I didn’t even hear the phone ring. The second time I sent it to voicemail. I figured I could get back to her later since this was the last time the kids were seeing their Mimi before we left to head back to Oklahoma. Shortly after, I received a text message. It said:

“I just wanted to let you all know about the death of one of our kids’ classmate. Malik was beaten to death by his stepfather last week. He was in Ms. Taylor’s class. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up before school starts.”

This was not the text I was expecting to read. Not at all! I’m not real sure what I was expecting but I assure you this was not it. I was unable to contain my shock and I exclaimed, “Oh my god!” Of course, then those sitting near me wanted to know what was wrong. So I, being one of those people that lack the gift of tact, share the text with the table including my children. Unfortunately, I would have shared this with them even at Disney World on the Tea Cups because, hey, that’s life. I’m not good at sugar coating things.

For the next hour, my kids go about their business playing ski ball and token launchers. Everything seems to be normal.


Later when we arrived back at Paw-Paw’s house, things got real. Part of me hoped that the homeroom mother was confused and was just going on a false rumor but upon going to the KSWO website I found more reality than I was able to swallow. What I discovered was sad and it built up a sense of hatred for this man, Lancey D. Ray, pictured here,.

My son came into the room and we talked about it. I can only imagine how hard it was for his young mind to process this. The thought process in charge of making the connections between his friend and his parents and the fact that the kid was beaten to death by one or both of them must have been confusing and terrifying. Those were the people that were supposed to protect that boy, not end him.

My son went on to tell me about a time Malik came to school with bruises on his face. He had told my son and their other friends that over the weekend his family was play fighting. Another time, my son said he came to school missing a fingernail and he said he had smashed his finger in the door.

Now understand something, reader, we were in New Orleans. The last time we were there was in April 2010 for Maw-Maw’s funeral. Now we are back in her house eight months later finding out that someone else has died. As awful as this sounds, at least Maw-Maw died of cancer. It was something that made for many conversations with my children in an effort to better prepare them for when the time came that she passed away. When it came to Malik, there was no way in hell I could have prepared my child for that. NONE! Hell, it completely blindsided me. A couple of weeks earlier my son was picking out a gift for his friend and now just like that he was snuffed out like a lit candle.

That night, my son came into the room I slept in and he was crying. He said he missed Maw-Maw and he missed Malik. He crawled up next to me and I gave him a hug. Then he says, “Mom. What if I go to school on Monday and Malik is there?” I wasn’t exactly sure if he meant really there or as a ghost so I asked him to explain. He says, “What if it isn’t true and he isn’t dead?” So I told him I hoped it was all a lie too but I explained to him that I did read about it on the local news site. He asked to see it. I pulled it up for him.

After he read it, he cried a little and asked me why Malik’s dad did that to him. I told him I didn’t know for sure. What was I supposed to say to him? I have no idea what would possess someone to beat a child to death, to lose control like that. After awhile, I walked my son back to his room and tucked him back into bed.

After we made it back to Oklahoma, I read more about the horrible crime on KSWO. I found that Ray was accused of beating Malik with a leather belt and a cutting board that day because he wouldn’t eat his lunch. What’s worse was when it was released that the mother, the boy’s own flesh and blood, had also broken a piece of wood over his backside that same day.


At first, I must admit, I assumed mom, Denise, was a victim too. However, I do not think it excused her for allowing her child to be beat. First off, the step father was a soldier in the army which means he was gone frequently between deployments and trips to the field. She had the chance to escape that house with her children. Yes, there were two other younger children in that home, 5 and 6, which are now in protective custody. Thank goodness!

It also concerns me that no one at the school was aware of this. I mean, my son and his friends...10 year olds, noticed bruises. Why didn’t an adult?

The school board did put a counseling crisis team into place for the children and teachers at the school. On the Sunday before my kids returned to school, I encouraged my son to seek counsel. I told him it might help him get some closure to talk to someone other than me and his own head.

Later, he told me that he disclosed all the information about the bruises and the missing fingernail to the counselor. He said that the counselor’s told him that they would have to turn the information over to the police. The counselor met with me to let me know that there was a small possibility that my boy would be asked to give a statement and possibly testify in court with my permission.

It is really alarming what happened to Malik. I never had the pleasure of meeting him. Even though he lived around the corner, he was never allowed to play when my son went to call on him. My son said Malik was a good student and one of the top readers in the class.


My son’s last memory of his friend was the last day of school before winter break when Malik said, “Happy birthday!” and handed over a bag of popcorn he didn’t want. “It’s not my birthday.”, my son says. Then he says Malik said to him, “Well, take it in case I don’t see you for your birthday.” Later, my son would ask me if I thought maybe Malik knew he wasn’t coming back.

The poor kid has been having his sleep disturbed by dreams. He says sometimes he sees Malik in his room. Sometimes he says he dreams of him. He’s woken up a few times very upset and I have had to sit with him on the sofa trying to comfort his heart with soothing words and a listening ear. It’s not fun and hope fate gives me a break in loss for a while so that our family, especially my boy, can heal. The year 2010 was very sad for us with my husband’s grandmother passing away but it was even more difficult for my son with the passing of his friend. Hopefully, 2011 will be less trying.

The following is poem I have shared with my son. I found it after Maw-Maw died and it help to ease some of the pain in my heart. Being agnostic, I don’t necessarily believe in heaven or hell. I do believe that energy is constant and whatever is inside of us, I guess in a sense it’s your soul, it becomes one with everything else. As for the organic part of you, it too becomes part of everything else as in ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Are we clear? Yeah. I didn’t think so. Anyway…here’s the poem.

His Journey’s Just Begun
Author Unknown

Don’t think of him as gone away
His journey’s just begun
Life holds so many facets
This existence is only one
Just think of him as resting
From the pain and tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days or years
Think of how he must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can truly pass away
And think of him as living
In the hearts of all of us
For nothing loved is ever lost
And he was loved so much.

RIP Malik Ray.
Your friend misses you.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do a brief update in March when Lancey D. Ray goes to trial and I hope that Denise Ray doesn't get out of going to trial as well.  We'll have to wait and see.

An update can be found here.