I'm Around...You Just Can't See Me

As most of you know already, Blogger and I are not getting along. My commenting is thrown all off whack. It’s not letting me log in to leave comments…even on my OWN blogs. I have to take the time to manually type my name and URL in yet I remain faceless. Some of your blogs won’t even let me do that much!


It’s also very finicky about when it allows me to make posts. Thank goodness I use Microsoft Word to write my posts or they’d be lost forever in Blogger limbo. When I hit “publish”, sometimes it takes me back to the log in page. It’s a big ol’ mess.  I had a lovely post for my anniversary on May 25 but Blogger was being a butt and after trying numerous times to post it I gave up.

Damn you, Blogger Demon!!

Rest assured though, I am around the blogosphere but I am silenced. I’m like a ninja all up on your page. I’ve actually been spending a lot of time hanging around this new blog collaboration which is named, simply ::snicker::, Fabulous Atypical Ramblings of Nuclear Cheese. If you clicked that link, I’m sorry but you can’t get those minutes you wasted back. They’re gone! Forever!
To answer everyone’s most pressing question, yes your votes made me number one in May Concours d' Cuisine but apparently there is another round to the contest. You guys know how I am when it comes to rules and shit. K over at Big K, Little a has final say over who wins. I am in the final three. Now I have to wait on K to make all three dishes to see which one tickles her taste buds more. In the meantime, I’m going to join the June contest but I’m not going to fight to be number one again…just final three.

Summer Can't Come Quickly Enough

Twenty seven more days until school is out for summer. I’m completely mixed about it. On one hand, the thought of not having a break from the kids is a little terrifying especially since my husband is deployed. On the other, this school year has been such a merciless headache that summer may just be the relief the kids and I need.


In the beginning of this school year, I was really struggling to get my son on track. He was being completely lackadaisical when it came to his schoolwork which caused his teacher to request that he be tested for ADD and ADHD. It not only turned out to be a false alarm but the tests showed that my fifth grader was reading on an eighth grade level. These results didn’t shock me but it did make me proud that there was now proof that there was nothing wrong with him. On the inside I basically chanted “Ninny ninny boo boo!” and “I told you so. Now shut the fuck up and teach my kid!!!”

Although his grades were improving, his dislike for his teacher became more and more defined. Many days the boy would come home and as soon as he would walk through the door he would began ranting about how awful his teacher was. We would sit down and discuss it. I would try so hard to help him see her side even though I was grappling with some of her ways myself.

He’s expressed to me that he feels as if she is always picking on him and singling him out. I explained to him that he is partially to blame. He gave her such a hard time in the beginning of the year that she now has her eye on him all the time. So now if he farts crooked, she’s going to know about it. It’s not fair but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, little dude. I told him the best thing to do is to stay off of her radar and the way to do that is to not give her ammunition. Trying to convince him to work harder and keep his mouth shut and his nose clean is like trying to convert the Taliban to Christianity.

Little by little I am finding out that this teacher’s way of solving the problem is by separating him from the rest of the class. At first I thought this consisted of her having to sit him next to her desk or something like that. That doesn’t bother me but I’m discovering through more and more conversations with him that she is sitting him outside of the classroom; I’m talking in the hallway or in the empty classroom next door. My concern is how the hell are you teaching my child if he isn’t even in your class?? I don’t understand how this can be helping his grades.

Yesterday, I went to speak to the guidance counselor. I expressed my concerns about the way the boy has been feeling in regards to how he is being treated. I explained to her that I am noticing a shut down on the horizon and I didn’t want it to affect the improvement he has made so far. I asked if she would maybe talk to the teacher and explain to her the affect that her style of discipline is having on my child.

The only reason have not gone to the teacher myself is I don’t think I can remain calm. Let’s face it. If you haven’t noticed my “mother bear” is showing. My child feels picked on and I’m ready to defend him. I don’t think I can talk to her without being very confrontational. Another reason I felt the need to bring a third party into the situation is simply because if this teacher truly is “picking on” my kid, I don’t want matters to get worse for him.

I also asked the counselor to talk my son. It concerns me how angry this has made him. When we talk about his school situation, you can see the fury in his eyes as they well up with tears and he clenches his fists at his sides. I thought maybe if the counselor tried to help him understand the teacher’s stance a little better, it would help. She agreed to have a conversation with him.

Later that same day was the last straw. He was late coming home. When I questioned him as to why, he said that she made him sit in the empty classroom next door. Since he was being punished when the bell rang he didn’t get up. He figured she was going to come over, lecture him, and then dismiss him. Apparently, this wasn’t his first rodeo.

When she didn’t come to speak to him after a few minutes of waiting, he said he peeked around the corner. She was sitting at her desk on the computer. It seems that she actually forgot that he was there. This infuriated me to no end!!! I called the school. The counselor answered the phone. I let her know what had happened and she advised me that I should meet with the principal. Hopefully, I’ll get a meeting soon and I keep reminding myself that this is all almost over.

Somebody Is About To Get Smited!

If this isn’t your first visit to my blog, you know I have no problem sharing information about myself. To be honest, I rather enjoy it. Maybe I’m a borderline narcissist or maybe I’m just true to my Leo nature. Either way this post is brought to you today because someone out there wants to feed my ego.

Thanks to Debbie at No Filter Mom for giving me another opportunity to gloat endlessly about how awesome I am be honored with the Versatile Blogger Award.

Now like most awards, this one comes with a set of rules that I am required by law to follow or else the blog gods will smite me. I’ve never been smited but it doesn’t sound pleasant. I imagine the blog gods to sit in front of a computer screen similar to Dr. Claw, the bad guy from the old Inspector Gadget cartoons.

Piss them off and they press their big red “smite” buttons like this one.

Here are the blog commandments of the Versatile Blogger award.



1.) Thank the person who gave you the award. (Done! See above.)

2.) Share 7 things about yourself. (Three cheers for narcissism!)

3.) Pass the award on to 10 unsuspecting victims other versatile bloggers and mock them let them know you did.

Here's some stuff about me.  I know you can't wait.  That's why you are here.
1.) My most favorite soda is Diet Dr. Pepper. It is by far the best tasting diet soda there is on the market in my opinion and my opinion is all that matters (to me anyway).

2.) I like the Counting Crows very much. I have all of their albums. Adam Duritz is an amazing poet.

Goofy looking? Yes but extremely talented. I have a thing for poetry. Just ask my husband. He got me hook, line, and sinker!

3.) I love that my children are in scouting. I had some of my best childhood memories while in girl Scouts and I enjoy sharing my stories with my kids.


little ol' me...got to love that sofa behind me

I hope that they will have fond memories as well. By the way, the official cookie count as of today is 459. She’s almost to her goal of 600 boxes. (Technically, this one is only sort of about me.)


4.) I have zero talent (or patience) when it comes to making things. I’m so envious of people who can do things like make jewelry or scrapbook or draw. My “creations” look like a kindergartener made it. Besides, people don’t appreciate painted noodles glued to paper like they used to. Martha Stewart I am not.

5.) My boy child is a lot like me. He’s creative, silly and sometimes caring to a fault. He likes to read and when he talks about something that excites him his eyes light up. He has so much enthusiasm you can’t help but get sucked into his story. (I guess this one is isn’t really about me either. But, you will take what I give you and you will like it!)

6.) I still play the Sims from time to time. How old am I??? I enjoy watching my husband play games like Elder Scrolls on the Xbox but I lack the hand coordination to operate the controller. The Wii is more my speed and even that is pushing it.

7.) I don’t like making lists that end in an odd number. It bugs me.

Finally, I am supposed to pass this along to 10 more people. Well, that’s not going to happen. I know…smite me, oh mighty smiter!

There have been many awards going around lately and I know many of the people I follow have already received this award. So for the sake of not duplicating, I will give it to 2 bloggers and I have decided to pull a Doug and get cheesy with it. So here is the award I’ll be giving out.

It’s the Quintessential Versatile Blogger Award. I would like to give this award to Alysha at Supermom and Rancher Mom at The Taylor Family Ranch. Enjoy, ladies.

On a closing note, the time for my husband’s leave is coming up fast. So if you don’t hear from me in a few weeks, I’ve haven’t really been smited. I’m probably just busy doing…things…yes, that's it…things.

Socially Awkward or Just Antisocial?

Most of my life has been spent feeling like some sort of outcast. Being an adult, not much has changed. I'd like to say I don’t care as much anymore but moving away from family and friends in New Orleans is starting to take its toll on me especially since the husband is away.


I have ZERO friends here. It’s my own fault since I automatically assume people will not like me once they get to know me. Let’s face it I’m a weirdo and even though I embrace it most other people do not. However, I wonder at times if I’m just an asshole. On top of making the assumption that most people will not accept me, I also tend to avoid the people who seem accepting of me because I conclude they are just bat shit crazy.

My best friend can’t understand how I can go so long cutting myself off from the world. She says I’m doing an injustice to the potential friends around me by not letting anyone in. The truth is I’m lazy. Making new friends is time consuming and has left me disappointed so many times that I don’t even want to try anymore.

Today I took my daughter to a friend from school’s birthday party. I met a few other parents who were nice but… (You knew there would be a “but” right?)  I don’t want to say they were Stepford but I got the whole sorority sister vibe from them which automatically made me feel like everything that came out of my mouth was being judged. What’s sad is I KNOW it is all in my head and I KNOW I miss out on making friends this way.  Also, when I think about it, it sort of makes me come off as thinking everything is about me.  (It is, right?)  There's my Leo showing.

Mother fucker! I swear I must need therapy.

I find myself thinking of that Adam Sandler bit..."Oh, Mom!"



Also, this...



What makes things worse is since I’m a parent; I’m always worried that my own social awkwardness is going to affect my children in some way or another. I’m the mom that cusses like a sailor. I’m the mom that not only doesn’t go to church but is agnostic (but may as well be atheist…oooo, PROJECT). I’m the mom that isn’t skinny and doesn’t wear make-up every day. I’m the mom that is inappropriate and is constantly cracking jokes. I’m the mom with the pierced tongue. And these things, my internet buddies, are the things that I allow them to see.

What would they say if they knew I go through at least a fifth of Bacardi almost every weekend by myself? How about if they knew I LOVE to play Rockband and even more so when I’m drunk? What if they knew that Rockband usually leads to drunken karaoke in the garage while smoking Black & Milds?

I’ll admit. I’m envious of the people that seem to make friends easily. I feel I am incapable of juggling many friends. I’m not looking to fill an address book with acquaintances. I would just like to make one or two friends around here I can let loose with from time to time. I’m smart enough to know I am my own worst enemy here.

::shake my head:: I am a sad, sad spectacle sometimes but I’m always prepared to laugh at my own faults.

Silence Is Golden

The best things in life are free. I’m always looking for things to take the kids to that are free or inexpensive. Each month here in the great frying pan shaped state of Oklahoma, the school sends home a magazine highlighting all sorts of things for families to do in the area from local fairs or concerts to special events that certain venues like museums and libraries hold. Everything listed is family friendly. I look forward to receiving it each month so that I may peruse the pages to find things the kids and I can do to pass the time. For instance, thanks to that magazine I found out that each Sunday admission to the Great Plains Museum is free for local residents. JACKPOT!

The most recent gem that I found tucked away in the magazine’s pages was a free screening of a couple of silent films. I almost passed. The thought of taking my children to something that lacked modern special effects, was not animated, and lacked the use of 3-D glasses made me slightly queasy. After all, in this day and age kids are bored so easily.

Finally, I mustered up the courage (and insanity) to bring them. I told the kids to bathe and get ready because I was taking them out on the town. It’s a shame I don’t own a flapper dress and feathered headband or I would have dressed the part.

When we arrived, I found that it was a very small gathering which was fine. The films were being shown at Cameron University. The event was hosted by the Magic Lantern Film Society. The two films they chose for that night were Sherlock, Jr. (1924) starring Buster Keaton and Speedy (1928) starring Harold Lloyd. Both films were comedies.

In typical fashion of my beloved offspring, the whining and the complaining commenced…

“There’s noooo tallllking?”

Note the emphasis on elongating the letters. I want you to feel my pain and HEAR their pathetic, whining voices.

“Why is it in blaaaack and whiiiite?”

“I’m borrrrrred!”

“That guy just said there are snacks. I’mmmm hungryyyyy!”

At first it was torture to the point I actually contemplated leaving then I remembered something important but sometimes detrimental to my own well-being. I am NO quitter. I will push forward no matter how stubborn I appear because regardless, I WILL get to the other side of whatever I am crossing. Win or lose. About twenty minutes into the first film, the kids were into it. They were laughing and predicting what would happen next. My hair for a few moments in time decided to take a rest from turning slowly gray.
                                                           
My daughter said it reminded her of Bugs Bunny and “those guys that poke each other in the eyes and stuff.” Yes, friends. It appears I have failed at introducing my daughter to the humor of the Three Stooges. I promise to do better in my parenting in the future. As you can see, I am trying to redeem myself here!

During intermission, my son made an interesting observation. He says to me, “Why are there so many old people here?” Funny thing is what my children consider old. For instance, I’m thirty. My children constantly ask me about the “olden days” and “ancient times”. You know…when dinosaurs roamed the earth? Apparently, they think my husband clubbed me over the head and dragged me into his cave by my hair. I guess if you use it as a metaphor for “love” it isn’t entirely false.

Anyway…

After explaining to him that the film society itself is headed by folks who are in their 50s and 60s, the members themselves are mostly in their 60s and 70s with the exception of the students from Cameron University that belong to the group. I concluded by informing him that the best part was that should there be a zombie apocalypse while we were there at least the old folks were easy prey so we’d have a chance to get the hell out of there. He liked that idea.

I know most people immortalize Charlie Chaplin but in my opinion he doesn’t have anything on Buster Keaton in Sherlock, Jr. Keaton has a Hugh Laurie-esque look about him that reminded me of Laurie in the British sketch comedy show, A Bit of Fry & Laurie. In this film, Keaton plays a projectionist whose dream is to become a detective. After proposing to his girl, his rival frames him for stealing the watch of the girl’s father and Keaton is asked to leave. Later at work while showing a film about a stolen pearl necklace, Keaton falls asleep and dreams that he is in the film as the detective trying to crack the caper. What takes place next are lots of hijinks and sight gags that leave your sides hurting.

In Speedy, Harold Lloyd’s title character is a diehard Yankee fan. It first costs him his job as a soda jerk. Later, he manages to snag a job as a cabby. When by chance he manages to pick up the one and only Babe Ruth, he gives the Sultan of Swat the ride of his life all the way to Yankee Stadium. The Great Bambino’s appearance is delightful. Later in an effort to help his girl’s grandfather save his horse drawn trolley car business, he recruits the help of the local shopkeepers who use the car as a clubhouse each night. You can expect many sight gags and slapstick comedy as well as some good ol’ car chases not to mention a great street brawl between the shopkeepers and the thugs full of physical farce.

All in all, the films were entertaining. I wish local theaters would show more silent films from time to time especially comedies like these. If any of you get the chance to see either of these, you should do so. My children even asked when we could go back to see more.