Anxiety Is In Full Swing or Excuse My Rambling But That's How I Roll

Lately, I’ve been a busy little bee. I’m trying to make everything around me perfect for the homecoming happening very soon. So many things are going on that lazy, procrastinating me feels detached from my body watching everything else transpire. I am having more trouble than normal sleeping and when I eventually do fall asleep I wake up at least three times during the night. My stomach is in knots. I am a big ball of anxiety waiting to explode!


The best part though, I’m not going to lie, is the shopping (…well besides the obvious that my husband is coming home, anyway). I rarely shop for myself so being able to pick things out and actually purchase them is a blast. I seriously bought like four pairs of shoes and loved every second of it. Yes, I bought clothes too but shoes are so much more fun. It was easy to narrow down the choices for clothes. It was an ordeal to shrink the shoe order. The good news (for the checkbook anyway) is that I went from hearting twenty pairs of shoes down to four…just four.

I had to talk myself out of the “Pretty Woman” thigh high pleather boots. It was hard but I will survive.



I was surprised at some of the footwear I saw. Some websites actually have an entire section on “fetish” footwear. I HAD to see what that was about. I just had too! Some of it was hot…some of it was, well, just plain disturbing. Like these…

They look like my version of high heels I used to draw when I was in elementary school. On a serious note unless you were into ballet how in the hell would you not break your ankle in those?? I thought I was a bad ass because I was shopping for 4 and 5 inch heels.

Another plus to homecoming is getting the house into tip top shape. I have hired Molly Maids to come out and dust my house. I hate to dust. HATE IT…want to stab it! They are also going to clean my windows inside and out. Yay!

I’ve made a few purchases to help the kids organize their rooms better and have even promised them a bonus allowance if they keep their rooms cleaned for the next two weeks. I need to do whatever I can to keep them occupied. I’ve made plans for them to participate in scouting events this weekend and next. I figure it will make the time go by quicker for us all.

By the way, my kids still have no clue that Dad is coming home. I am trying my damnedest to keep this a secret from them. I want them to be surprised. I have even mapped out a treasure hunt for them. The plan is to bring the kids to a friend of my son’s house who lives a few blocks away. I have already worked this out with the kid’s mom. Next, I’ll swing back to the house and hide the clues in their appropriate places. Then I’m off to the airport to pick up my husband. Afterwards, I’ll bring him back to the house where I’m sure I will give in to his sexual advances because, hey, it’s been since October and this is much better than the battery operated stuff I’ve been using. Next, I will put my clothes back on. What? I can’t pick up the kids naked, pervert! Then I will help my husband into the hammock, hand him a beer, and I’m off to scoop up the children.

Upon our return, I will hand the children an envelope with their first clue in it. That clue will lead them on an adventure around the house looking for the coveted surprise at the end. I really hope all of this stays a surprise. I think my kids will enjoy the hunt for treasure. Suggestions would be appreciated.

As for plans while my husband is here, we really haven’t made any. Nothing even goes as planned it seems. So, we are just going to do whatever we feel like from day to day. It has conveniently worked out that the second week he is here will be Spring Break for the kids so should we decide a road trip in order it is on like Donkey Kong.

Did I mention I am super excited????????  It's definetey time for him to come home when I've thought about opening this box...

Not Much To Report

Another day, another call from my son's teacher...

What the hell am I going to do with him?  Mrs. T said he has missed a few homework assignments.  Great...it's like fourth grade all over again!

To back track...at open house she said that they rarely give work designated for at home.  Instead, the students are required to finish any work they fail to complete in class at home.  Easy enough, right?  Apparently, this goes over my son's head.  For the past few weeks he's been coming home with next to nothing in his backpack, telling me he finished it in class.

So now, Mrs. T and I are requiring him to have his planner initialed by each of us everyday.  This is the sort of shit I was hoping he would be done with at this point.  He is so much like my husband used to be...does just enough to get by no matter what his potential is.  It's enough to make me want to shake the snot of him.  Is shaken baby syndrome still relevant for a 5th grader?  Would it be shaken pre-teen syndrome?  They tell you not to shake your babies but I've never heard anyone say don't shake your almost middle schooler.  I'd like to announce my advocacy to this subject matter.   Maybe it would rattle some sense into his skull...you know, activate his "school is more important than my xbox" receptor.

Kids!  Can't live with them...can't sell them on the black market.  You know, when I was young and stupid I wanted five kids.  Now I have two and I'm glad I'm one of those people that rarely finish what I start.  Hooray for procrastination (and birth control)!



In other news...

Lately, I've been watching that show, Hoarders, on A&E.  I purged the file cabinet of useless, outdated papers all while watching an episode.  Does that make me bulimic?

I've been making the kids go through their rooms and bring me things that they don't use or want.  Some things are being posted on eBay and some things are being posted on my local freecycle group.  What ever is left is going to Goodwill.

My summer time guilty pleasure, Big Brother, has ended.  It's a sick and ugly addiction, I know.  Many times I thought my family would stage an intervention but I guess they just don't love me enough.  It probably doesn't help that half of my family is addicted too.  We need family rehab.  After such a lousy season maybe CBS will not bring it back for a 13th season (yes, I fucking said 13...I'm as shocked as you are).  If that happens we can all quit cold turkey.

The best news of the day...my husband got his first paycheck from the new job.  I was able to catch up on all of the bills and still had money left over.  No worries!  I love it.

Any ho-ha...

As the title says, "not much to report"...hopefully, I'll have more to share soon.  Don't
miss me too much.