Fantastic Friday Five #10

Now I know some of you thought this post wasn't coming.  Shame on you for not having faith in me.  Your doubt makes me sad.

1.) It’s no secret I’m really into zombie/apocalypse stories. Recently, I started reading The Walking Dead graphic novels. Ummm, why am I just now doing this?? It has also been suggested to me that I read the book John Dies at the End by David Wong who is also a columnist for the infamous Cracked webiste. I’m on it!  I suggest you head over to The Encyclopedia of Counted Sheep (when you're done reading this lovely post of course) and read Bryan's short short zombie tale.  I'm not going to say he wrote it FOR me but I think he sort of wrote it BECAUSE of me.  Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.

2.) Our gardens are flourishing. That is a big deal all on its own especially since it has been left in my care. Back in the fall, I had to plant some bulbs and such that came in the mail. The husband had ordered them in the spring of 2010 and now he was relying on me to get them into the ground since he was away. Well, I’m proud to announce that shit is actually growing. An iris bloomed last week and another one is getting ready to do the same.

Apparently that black thumb of mine is more of a shade of gray…or maybe I just need to wash my hands better.

3.) This post has been getting some anonymous comment love lately. It seems there is something I’m going to be sorry about. Excuse me, while I get back to sacrificing virgins and drinking the blood of babies…or something.

4.) The kids and I hit up the local Goodwill store yesterday. As I picked through an endless array of romance novels, I came across a holy grail of sorts. I snagged the Lord of the Rings trilogy in a beat up old paperback for only 75 cents!! I had Billy Mays’ voice in my head yelling, “That’s a quarter per book.” How could I pass up this deal? How could I say no to Billy? I HAD to act now!

5.) Last but certainly not least, I am happy to announce that my husband will be home for good sooner than orginally planned. He decided not to do a second year in Afghanistan. Hooray! Now, not only will may sleeping habits return to normal (hopefully) I’ll be getting laid on a fairly regular basis. Whoot, whoot! Time for me to break out into song…”I’m so excited. I just can’t hide it!”


What??  Don't judge me.  Don't you dare judge me.
 
Well, that's it AND you got it on Friday.  Aren't you lucky??  Have a great weekend.  I know I will.  Margaritas in my kitchen...here I come.

Summer Can't Come Quickly Enough

Twenty seven more days until school is out for summer. I’m completely mixed about it. On one hand, the thought of not having a break from the kids is a little terrifying especially since my husband is deployed. On the other, this school year has been such a merciless headache that summer may just be the relief the kids and I need.


In the beginning of this school year, I was really struggling to get my son on track. He was being completely lackadaisical when it came to his schoolwork which caused his teacher to request that he be tested for ADD and ADHD. It not only turned out to be a false alarm but the tests showed that my fifth grader was reading on an eighth grade level. These results didn’t shock me but it did make me proud that there was now proof that there was nothing wrong with him. On the inside I basically chanted “Ninny ninny boo boo!” and “I told you so. Now shut the fuck up and teach my kid!!!”

Although his grades were improving, his dislike for his teacher became more and more defined. Many days the boy would come home and as soon as he would walk through the door he would began ranting about how awful his teacher was. We would sit down and discuss it. I would try so hard to help him see her side even though I was grappling with some of her ways myself.

He’s expressed to me that he feels as if she is always picking on him and singling him out. I explained to him that he is partially to blame. He gave her such a hard time in the beginning of the year that she now has her eye on him all the time. So now if he farts crooked, she’s going to know about it. It’s not fair but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, little dude. I told him the best thing to do is to stay off of her radar and the way to do that is to not give her ammunition. Trying to convince him to work harder and keep his mouth shut and his nose clean is like trying to convert the Taliban to Christianity.

Little by little I am finding out that this teacher’s way of solving the problem is by separating him from the rest of the class. At first I thought this consisted of her having to sit him next to her desk or something like that. That doesn’t bother me but I’m discovering through more and more conversations with him that she is sitting him outside of the classroom; I’m talking in the hallway or in the empty classroom next door. My concern is how the hell are you teaching my child if he isn’t even in your class?? I don’t understand how this can be helping his grades.

Yesterday, I went to speak to the guidance counselor. I expressed my concerns about the way the boy has been feeling in regards to how he is being treated. I explained to her that I am noticing a shut down on the horizon and I didn’t want it to affect the improvement he has made so far. I asked if she would maybe talk to the teacher and explain to her the affect that her style of discipline is having on my child.

The only reason have not gone to the teacher myself is I don’t think I can remain calm. Let’s face it. If you haven’t noticed my “mother bear” is showing. My child feels picked on and I’m ready to defend him. I don’t think I can talk to her without being very confrontational. Another reason I felt the need to bring a third party into the situation is simply because if this teacher truly is “picking on” my kid, I don’t want matters to get worse for him.

I also asked the counselor to talk my son. It concerns me how angry this has made him. When we talk about his school situation, you can see the fury in his eyes as they well up with tears and he clenches his fists at his sides. I thought maybe if the counselor tried to help him understand the teacher’s stance a little better, it would help. She agreed to have a conversation with him.

Later that same day was the last straw. He was late coming home. When I questioned him as to why, he said that she made him sit in the empty classroom next door. Since he was being punished when the bell rang he didn’t get up. He figured she was going to come over, lecture him, and then dismiss him. Apparently, this wasn’t his first rodeo.

When she didn’t come to speak to him after a few minutes of waiting, he said he peeked around the corner. She was sitting at her desk on the computer. It seems that she actually forgot that he was there. This infuriated me to no end!!! I called the school. The counselor answered the phone. I let her know what had happened and she advised me that I should meet with the principal. Hopefully, I’ll get a meeting soon and I keep reminding myself that this is all almost over.

Future Undetermined

For a little over a month, I had been keeping a journal.  I did it on a friend's suggestion that it would help me with the things I had been going through on an emotional level.  For nearly 30 days, I wrote my innermost thoughts.  Then I began to realize I don't want to dig that deep into myself.  With all the things that have been going on in my life in the past few years, diving that deep into my brain made me feel, well, depressed.  I would journal about certain topics and then feel shitty for the remainder of the day and sometimes into the next day.  I also felt that I kept continually rehashing the same things over and over and over again.  Anyone that knows me will tell you, me and emotions (especially sadness) are not very close.  Bring on the raging anger any day!  I don't do the tears...it feels like weakness and giving up to me.
So, now I decided what's best for me is to just scratch the surface.  I figure if I'm putting myself out there for all to see, I will express myself in a way that isn't so "poor me" which is more comfortable and true to life than what my journal was turning into.  I've decided that some things are better left inside your head...filed away deep in the back of your mind.  I know many arm chair psychiatrists and basement therapists will disagree but I'm going do what I feel is necessary and relevant to my life.
All those things said...on to the meat...
There is a very good chance my husband will be going away awhile for work.  I'm not looking forward to this at all but I look at it this way:

1. I have already dealt with two deployments.  The first one I did under very similar circumstances as right now and made it through.  The second was much easier.  I knew what to expect.  This time not only do I know what to expect, we are a little more financially prepared to handle whatever curve balls life throws our way.
2. Once he returns we will be much closer to being able to finally purchase a home.
3. We can get the debt monkeys off our backs.
4. We will have the opportunity to actually set aside a college fund for the kids.

I do not expect it to be a cake walk but I KNOW I can do this.  I know this because when backed into a corner the claws always come out!  When push comes to shove, I'm going to do whatever I need to do to move my family forward just like what my husband is doing.
He said in taking this job he will have a supervisor position on top of working directly under a three star general.  He said that if he can add that general as a reference on his resume in addition to all the experience he will gain going away, his career will be golden.  I hope he's right.
At this point, I'm ready to pray to any god, stick pins in a voodoo doll, light a candle or two, or sacrifice a goat just to ensure that this all works out to our benefit.  I'm just tired of struggling and having nothing to show for it.  I'm not some high maintenance person either.  When I say I want something to show for it, I mean I want a house.  And I'm not talking some five story mansion with an indoor pool and a mini movie theater.  I just want a quaint home on some land.  I'm not fond of neighbors...I'm not fond of people in general for that matter.  I want enough money to be able to pay my bills, put money on the side for my children to attend college, and have a little left over for minor upsets that arise from time to time and/or a little entertainment cash.  I don't need a yacht although a small boat would be nice.  I don't need a $50,000 vehicle...just a small vehicle that gets me from point A to point B when needed.  I want my kids birthdays and Christmas to roll around and not scrounge for pennies just to buy them a gift or two just so something is under our tree or next to their cake.
We will make it there someday and by my husband taking this job it feels within our grasp.  Hopefully in two years, I'll be able to blog about how everything worked out.  I must say though, many times I wonder what the hell I did in a past a life since nothing has seemed to go as we've planned.  I have my fingers crossed we have finally paid our debt to fate and now things will start to look up.  We shall see, won't we?